I’d been talking to a guy on Tinder for a while and we realized we had tons in common. We planned on meeting up but before we did, I decided to not only look up his astrological chart but also our synastry. This blew up in my face, destroying any chance we had of making a real connection. Oops!
I know a lot of people think it’s BS, but there’s a lot of truth in astrology.
I’ve always loved astrology—not the hokey crap you find in women’s mags, but the real deal, the kind of stuff you only find when you know a person’s birth date, time, and place. That circular pie chart divided into 12 quadrants. The Planets. The Signs. I’d been talking to this guy for a couple of weeks and wanted to know more. I figured that the more I knew about him on a deeper level, the easier it would be to actually talk to him once we met.
I thought dissecting his chart would give me some insight into who he really is.
I’ve found dissecting my own chart to be extremely helpful in giving me insight into who I am and why. I thought this would be no different when I looked him up. I’d done it before without any negative effects, so why not? I figured when we actually met, I’d arrive loaded with so much more understanding of him that connecting would be a breeze.
I became obsessed with determining our astrological compatibility.
Once I started, I couldn’t stop. I spent hours researching aspects, planets that were conjunct, planets that were trined, squared, or opposite to one another. I looked at the houses. I checked different sources. I opened my own books. I was kicking this synastry’s ass and I was proud of it. Turns out, we were incredibly compatible. Score!
I consulted my astrologist friend for his interpretation.
He told me what a fantastic connection we had and how great our relationship could be. He said this guy would support me in my work and how madly he would fall in love with me. I was really pleased with this analysis and really excited for me when it was finally time for my first meeting with the guy.
Our first date was actually magical—our charts were right.
We met for a drink at a bar after he got out of work one night. We talked for a while and then he had to dash to catch his train because he lives in the suburbs. The clock ticked and he pulled me close for a quick, rapturous kiss and I melted a little. The connection our charts told us would be there really seemed to be and I was ecstatic.
I wondered if I was fooling myself into liking him.
We texted as we both rode home that night and I started to think I might have finally met my perfect match. He was successful, charming, and not a bad kisser based on that short hot moment we shared. Plus, he seemed genuinely interested in me. Not to mention, I probably knew more about him than he knew about himself. Still, there was a part of me that wondered whether my feelings were true or I was just going for it because of our charts.
Our second date didn’t go quite so well.
I had high hopes for our second hangout but it didn’t go quite as well as the first. After some small talk, we continued to sit at the bar and have a heated discussion about raising children in the suburbs and whether or not it would be appropriate for me to work. This was a serious red flag, but since our charts said we were so perfect for each other, I ignored it. Needless to say, our goodbye kiss lacked the same passion as the first and I was left feeling pretty cold.
I was obsessed with figuring out why real life didn’t follow our astrological charts.
Our second date basically being one big argument about our drastically different values should have been a clue that I needed to move on. He wasn’t asking me to dinner, he looked exhausted, and our chemistry just wasn’t really there. This guy just didn’t seem to have time for or interest in me, but I still became enthralled. I kept thinking back to our synastry and what my friend had said about him falling madly in love with me and I was sure that I could turn this thing around.
I forced something that really wasn’t right.
We did eventually go out to dinner. I was actually supposed to go out with a friend that night but I canceled on her when he texted me last minute and asked if I wanted to get some food. Needless to say, it did not go well. I was flustered, he was stressed with work, and we didn’t kiss goodnight. Not only had I been forcing something that was clearly not meant to be, I also ditched my friend for a guy all because our astrological signs lined up. I felt like a loser.
I realized that astrology is fun but not always very helpful.
I wanted to fall head over heels for him and I let my desire override my logic. In this case, looking at astrology was not helpful. Instead, it acted as a catalyst to further my delusion about someone I was totally incompatible with. Turns out, astrology is complicated and so are humans. Just because your chart matches perfectly with someone doesn’t mean you’re meant to be. At least I’ve learned my lesson now—I don’t even want to know what sign my date is… at least until we’re actually in a relationship.
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