Love Doesn’t Conquer All: 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

Love Doesn’t Conquer All: 10 Reasons Relationships Fail

“All you need is love” is a romantic notion first brought to us by The Beatles. We think if we’re hopelessly in love, then all the rest will fall into place. But unfortunately, life is a lot more complicated than that. Relationships are hard work, even when you love each other. Especially when you love each other. While being in love is a highly desirable part of being with someone, its not the only thing you have to worry about if you want your relationship to last.

  1. It’s all about timing. The chances of two people wanting the same things at the same time are pretty slim. Just look at Ross and Rachel — they were constantly falling in and out of love, with one person wanting more when they other didn’t. Just because you love each other doesn’t mean you’ll both always be on the same page.
  2. There’s a difference between love and infatuation. Some people think they “fall in love” easily, but it’s probably more like lust or infatuation they’re feeling. That spell can be broken pretty easily, and usually won’t stand the test of time.
  3. Being faithful to one person forever is harder than you think. Are human beings even meant to be monogamous for life? Who knows. You’ll be hard pressed to find someone who’s never been cheated on though, so maybe that’s a sign love isn’t meant to last forever.
  4. You can only compromise so much. When you commit to another person, you’re saying goodbye to doing whatever you want 100% of the time. Now, every major (and a lot of minor) decisions you make will have to be mutually agreed upon by both of you. That means you won’t be able to change the course of your life on a whim anymore, because love means you have to always take his opinion into consideration whether it’s compatible with yours or not.
  5. Too many people have crap to say. Can love really outweigh how important your mother’s opinion is? Or that your best friend hates your one and only? If you’re willing to alienate everyone else in your life to stay with this person you love, you might end up regretting it one day.
  6. There’s always to fit a certain relationship ideal. How many couples out there end up having the wedding their parents want them to have rather than eloping like they wanted to? Or what about rushing to have kids too fast because that’s what every other married couple is doing? It can be hard to separate what you’re supposed to want and what you actually want, but the sooner you learn how, the better off you’ll be.
  7. Accepting someone else’s flaws is difficult. No one is perfect, and that fact becomes clearer and clearer the longer you’re with someone. Love may be about accepting people the way they are, but there are some deal breakers not even love can overcome.
  8. Past baggage can be difficult to shake. We all have a skeleton or two in our closet, and unfortunately the things we’ve been through in the past tend to affect our relationships. Can love overcome severe jealousy issues caused by an unfaithful ex? It’s hit or miss.
  9. People change. Although trying to change someone will never work, people do grow up, and often apart, on their own. Neither of you will be the same people 10 years from now, and while you might still love each other, staying together might no longer make sense.
  10. Forgiveness is good in theory, but complicated in reality. Saying you forgive someone for something they did is nothing more than words. Actually forgiving someone takes a lot of strength and an ability to let things go that you might not have. Love doesn’t always automatically mean you can always forgive and forget.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo