I Love You But I Still Need My Space

Just because I love my boyfriend doesn’t mean I want to be with him 24/7—I have my own life to live, after all. Space is important and I’m never going to not want it even when I adore the crap out of him.

  1. Space is good for the soul. It’s important to have time alone so that I can simply relax and decompress from the stress and pace of my everyday life—it’s good for me! It’s important for me to treat my body well, and sometimes just plopping my butt down on the couch with a face mask and some Sex and the City all by my lonesome is key to that.
  2. It reminds me of who I am and keeps me from losing myself in my relationship. Being with someone constantly can be draining and that’s why so many people end up losing themselves in their relationships. It’s easy to get caught up in the other person’s way of life, forgetting who we really are. It’s important to take space and remember what you want and why you want it and I insist on doing so regularly. I always check in with myself to make sure I’m feeling good about everything so that I can address it if I don’t.
  3. Space isn’t a bad thing. People get thrown off guard by the word space—it’s like a knife right in the heart. Why would the person who loves you want space from you? You automatically start blaming yourself for doing something wrong, but that’s ridiculous. I think it’s important to see space differently and not as a bad thing. Space can be good, and being able to see that will help you realize how much space you need and why you need it. I think taking time away from my boyfriend makes our relationship stronger.
  4. It gives me time to think logically about our issues. As much as we all want our love lives to be simple and easy, that’s not the reality of it. Love can be hard as hell, and sometimes it needs a fight or two from both ends to make it last. It’s normal and it’s hard work. Giving myself space will help me rethink the situations that are throwing us off-balance, which may very well help our future.
  5. I love him but I’m not obsessed with him. Just because I love my guy doesn’t mean I want to be addicted to him and obsess over him every second of every day. That’s crazy and completely unhealthy. I need to be myself, to have time alone, to do me.
  6. I just need some peace and quiet sometimes. I need to be able to unwind my body and my mind. I need to think, to breathe, and to simply be alone sometimes. Unwinding after long days are important, and it can be tough to do that when someone else is yapping away in your ear. I love him for everything that he is but I need to shut my damn eyes for a minute.
  7. I enjoy my own company. I don’t get bored when I’m not with my boyfriend or feel desperate to reach out and ask him what he’s doing. In fact, I love my own company and am just as entertained by me, myself, and I as I am when I’m with him. That’s a good thing.
  8. I have a life to live. Just because I’m head over heels in love with him doesn’t mean I don’t want to live my own life still. I want to be able to do my own thing, go to my own workout classes, see my friends and family, putz around Target… you get the picture. That’s important, and that’s what makes me myself.
  9. Space doesn’t mean I hate him. Taking time away from him doesn’t mean I hate him or want to break up. If anything, it means I love him but I love myself too. I love to pamper myself and be myself, by myself. Believe me, our relationship will be much better for it.