I Love When Guys Offer To Pay But It’s Not About The Money

It’s a huge turn-on for me when a guy wants to foot the bill. I’m an independent, hardworking woman and I have my own money, so it has absolutely nothing to do with the money itself. Here’s why I like it so much.

It proves to me that he’s truly interested in me. He’s essentially investing in us. If he’s willing to spend money on me, it means he might want me to stick around for a while—maybe even for the long haul. If a guy won’t spend money on me, it makes me think that I’m not worth it to him. It could mean that he’s on the fence about whether or not he wants to keep dating me, and I don’t need to be wasting my time.

It means he wants to impress me. If he’s buying me a nice dinner or taking me on fun dates and paying for it all, it means he really wants to show me a good time. He wants to make memories with me that will make a lasting impression. It’s a good sign when a guy puts in that kind of effort. A lot of guys nowadays don’t even try.

It shows he probably trusts me. If he continues to pay for things while we’re dating, it means he trusts that I’m not just using him for his money, otherwise, why would he offer? (Or he’s basically paying for sex, but you can usually tell when that’s all a guy is after anyway.) If he’s paying, he hopefully has faith in me.

It’s old-school romantic. I love being swept off of my feet. When a guy goes above and beyond to pay for a nice date, for example, it makes me feel like I’m in a rom-com. Being courted feels nice. Every woman wants that on some level and she’s lying if she says she doesn’t.

It means he’s financially stable. If he’s paying for stuff, then he probably has enough extra money. I don’t need a guy to be rich to date him, but he needs to have enough in the bank to not worry about spending some money on me once in a while. I can’t date someone who doesn’t work hard for a living.

It means he’s independent like me. As long as his family didn’t give him his money, it also means he’s independent, which is a crucial quality to have. I once dated a guy whose parents were rich and he was lazy because of it. I can’t be with someone who wants to freeload. If he makes his own money and is able to spend it, it means he’s hardworking and self-reliant. That’s priceless.

It means he’s chivalrous and old-fashioned. Sometimes I don’t like to admit that I like when a guy has traditional values because I fear judgment; expecting the guy to pay is a gender stereotype that arguably supports the trend of women being treated unequally. But I can’t help that I love the idea of my guy taking care of me. I still want my own life and career of course, but I like to know that my partner has my back and wants to provide for me.

It shows that he cares about me. I hope that any guy I date will pay for things for me— maybe not right away, but definitely if we’ve been dating for a while. It shows me that he wants to take care of me and wants to make me happy. This is probably the most important reason why I love when a guy pays for stuff. It’s not about the things themselves, it’s about what it says about his feelings toward me.

If he didn’t pay at least sometimes, I’d wonder if something was wrong. It could mean that he’s cheap or doesn’t want to share anything with me, which is a bad sign. Or, maybe he’s trying to hide his financial problems. This would be a total red flag for me. There’s no reason not to pick up the tab if you trust your partner, especially if the relationship is serious. I think it sets a good tone for the relationship if you’re willing to spend money on the other person without expecting anything in return (that goes for women paying for their guy once in a while too).

Money isn’t everything, of course. I pay for plenty of things for my guy in return, but it still makes me swoon when he offers to pay—it’s one of many ways he shows me that he loves me. There are obviously many other things you need to have a successful partnership, but I think whether or not a guy offers to pay says a lot about what type of person he is and how he views you and your relationship.

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