The word high-maintenance is commonly used in various social circles and dating pools to describe a woman rather than a man. It’s a term shrouded in ignorance and often used to make us feel bad about who we are. Such women are believed to be self-obsessed, difficult to handle, and draining. But are they really? Here’s the real meaning of being high-maintenance. You might be surprised by what you learn.
What is the meaning of “high-maintenance”?
Generally speaking, this adjective isn’t used in a positive way. Calling someone high-maintenance usually implies that they’re demanding, unreasonable, fussy, and overbearing. This can be exhausting to be around, as other people are expected to bend to their whims. Whether the high-maintenance person is materialistic, needy and clingy in relationships, or spends hours preening in front of the mirror, they’re generally not seen as being pleasant to be around. More often than not, this is an insult used against women in particular.
That being said, it’s not always a bad thing to be high-maintenance. While there are definite downsides, there are just as many benefits to having a woman like this in your life. Here’s what you need to know about her and how to successfully navigate a relationship with her if you’re lucky enough to date her.
Qualities of a high-maintenance woman
- She pays attention to her appearance. There’s one word that describes her perfectly: hot! A high-maintenance woman is not the sweatpants, fluffy slipper-wearing next-door-neighbor kind of woman. She lives to take special care of her appearance and always manages to look fabulously breathtaking, every time. Her hair, nails, clothes, and shoes are meticulously curated to suit her style. It must be some strange powers she possesses that make her look like she walked right out of the pages of a high-class glossy magazine.
- She’s fierce in communicating her needs. A high-maintenance woman isn’t shy about communicating her needs. She will clearly state what she wants and how she wants it, unapologetically. If she wants a kiss, she’ll ask for it straight up. She’s not scared to express her desires and preferences. This is usually intimidating for most people but will be refreshing for the right ones.
- She has expensive taste. A high-maintenance woman is used to a good life. She enjoys pampering herself by eating at the best restaurants, living a fabulous life, vacationing in the best places, and using the best gadgets. Her wardrobe looks like a boutique, filled with designer products that fit her like a second skin. She believes she deserves the fine things life can offer and unapologetically goes for it. However, she doesn’t expect these things to simply be handed to her. She’s willing to work for it and relishes everything she has because she knows she’s earned every last bit of it.
More traits she’s likely to have
- She has above-average self-esteem. A high-maintenance woman has self-confidence that would humble many. She sees all of her potential and plans to not only reach it but exceed it in every way. She’s confident in her ability and what she has to offer so she’ll never make herself small for anyone. She doesn’t think she’s the best girl in the room, she knows she is.
- She is a perfectionist. A high-maintenance woman won’t settle for less than the best. She demands top-tier everything in life and that’s why most men will see her as a spoiled brat. That’s not the case at all. In fact, she simply knows her worth and what she deserves and plans on getting it. Her comfort and satisfaction are paramount. She insists on perfection and goes for it no matter the cost.
- She can be very domineering. If you have low self-esteem, you’ll probably have a hard time being around a high-maintenance woman. She’s capable of taking over the decision-making from you and taking charge of the relationship due to your indecisive nature. She’s also very outspoken with very strong opinions and won’t submit to someone she presumes can’t lead.
- She’s often clingy in relationships. This might seem strange for the confident, high-maintenance woman but it’s true. Because she’s keen on receiving attention, she seeks it out in ways that can make her seem a bit needy at times. She wants to chat several times a day, she wants to be held, soothed, and pampered. She always wants to enjoy wholesome emotional support from her partner. She loathes being lonely or ignored, so don’t leave her on read for hours or days at a time or take her for granted. She’ll hate that.
How to make a relationship with a high-maintenance woman work
Love is beautiful and you shouldn’t let the fear of being with a high-maintenance woman keep you from sharing your heart with someone special. If you’ve figured out you’re dating a high-maintenance woman, here are some key tips to help your relationship thrive.
- Make an effort when it comes to appearance. You’re going to be standing next to the most glamorous woman in the room a lot of the time, so it’s only fair you look the part. This doesn’t mean you need to go for James Bond debonair every time you leave the house, but you should make an effort to dress well in clean, freshly ironed clothes when you’re out together. No woman wants to date a slob — there’s nothing high-maintenance about it.
- Confidence is a must. A high-maintenance woman will make you insecure in seconds if your self-esteem is low. That’s not her fault, however, nor is it intentional, so don’t expect her to apologize for it. You should be confident about who you are and what you have to offer in the relationship. Don’t compete with her but instead strive to complement her. This way, she’ll realize how self-assured you are in what you bring to the table.
More important high-maintenance relationship tips
- Thoughtful gestures go a long way. While your high-maintenance woman can easily take care of herself (and she prefers it that way), she’ll still appreciate thoughtful gifts like a trip to her favorite salon, a day in the spa, or even a romantic weekend away. These thoughtful gifts will make her feel appreciated and secure and will ultimately make your relationship better.
- She doesn’t need your judgment. A high-maintenance woman is outspoken and opinionated, don’t try to shrink her by shutting her up or withholding affection. Understand that she is worthy and her high standards are not unrealistic. If you’re not prepared to meet them, don’t bother wasting her time.
- Don’t be too passive in the relationship. If you’re laid-back in your relationship, she will probably take the reins and control things whether you like it or not. Be flexible and still principled enough to put your foot down. She will likely love being an equal with you if she sees you’re capable, smart, and proactive.
Dating a high-maintenance woman isn’t so much of a big deal especially if your values align. You shouldn’t give up on a healthy relationship because of a misused word. If you’re keen on caring for your partner and reciprocating her actions, ignore the noise and stay happy with the one you love, high-maintenance or not.