Netflix And Chill & 9 Other Things That Definitely Don’t Count As A Date

Dating these days isn’t the same as it used to be. A lot of the time, you’re out with someone, but you aren’t sure if it’s an actual date or not. That could have something to with the way we meet people and communicate. Online dating has made it a lot easier to meet people you never would have met otherwise, but it’s also made the whole concept of dating a lot more casual than it has ever been before. There are some things that are universally accepted as a date, like dinner and a movie, and there are others that you can be pretty confident are just code for hooking up. Obviously the only way to know for sure is to ask, but who wants to to do that?

  1. Netflix and chill. You and your friends can take bets on what minute of a random episode of Friends he puts his arm around you and accidentally brushes your boob. Then when he starts to fidget around because he probably has a hard-on and he wants to draw your attention to it. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll wait until the episode is over to start making out with you.
  2. Hanging out. Could this be any more vague? He’s not even trying. You might as well just show up naked and save some time.
  3. Watching a movie. Even teenagers know that watching a movie is code for hooking up. Especially if he suggests The Notebook. He’s banking on you getting so horny over Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams kissing in the rain that you won’t be able to resist him.
  4. Drinks at my place. If he can’t even be bothered to meet you in a public place for drinks, he’s definitely trying to get you drunk and in his bed within the hour.
  5. I’m at {insert random bar here}. Come meet me. He’s already half in the bag, horny, and after striking out at the bar, he probably figures he’d have better luck with one of the girls who’s already had the misfortune of giving him her number.
  6. A night cap. This is nothing more and nothing less than a last minute booty call. Nothing wrong with that, but it is certainly not a date.
  7. A group hang. A safe way to be in each other’s presence without the expectations of a date. This one is pretty non-committal and if it’s the closest thing you’ve ever been to an actual date with him, you might want to give some thought to his intentions, because he’s working pretty hard to keep you at arms length.
  8. Grabbing a coffee. This is always a safe suggestion for when you’re meeting someone for the first time in person. But it’s more like a quick informational interview than a date. If you hit it off, you can plan a real date, and if not, you can cut it short and forget it ever happened.
  9. A Skype date. This might be a good way to confirm you are actually talking to who you think you’re talking to (no one wants to get catfshed), but seeing someone’s face on a screen isn’t a real date. Nothing is a date until you meet in person. Period.
  10. Running a 5K. You’re running buddies, and nothing more. No one should ever sweat that much on a date, unless it’s in bed.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.