Never Go Home With A Guy Until You Know These 14 Things About Him

It’s tempting to go back to his place after a date, but if you’re keen on something more than a one-night stand, it pays to take your time to get to know him. After all, you don’t want to strip off and end up regretting it. Here are 14 things to learn about the guy before you go home with him.

  1. That “drinks at my place” isn’t code for sex You don’t want to go to his place for him to try to take you to bed unless that’s the only thing you want. Ask him what he’s looking for to save you the disappointment. He’s not slick.
  2. What Google says about him It might sound stalkerish to say you should do an internet search on the guy’s name but it can really help. What if you search for his name and find something you don’t like? What if his Facebook wall is covered with shady messages from a woman who seems to be his girlfriend? At least know that he’s got a squeaky-clean internet presence before you visit him.
  3. That he shares your values Speak to the guy and try to get to know him so you can figure out if he’s got prejudices. The last thing you want is to be excited about going to his place only to find out during the date that he’s a sexist.
  4. What he does in his spare time It sounds like a small thing but it points to the kind of lifestyle he leads. If his idea of fun is playing video games the whole weekend in a dark room and surviving on Coke and Lays chips or buying drugs and getting wasted, you’ll want to know before you go to his place.
  5. What pets he has If you’re allergic to cats, you obviously should know if he has any. But ask this question even if you’re not allergic to any animals. Heading to his home only to find he’s got snakes or spiders, which you can’t deal with, will result in a total waste of your hot stilettos because you’ll be hightailing it out of there. On the opposite side of the spectrum, a guy who tells you he hates animals when you’re a big animal lover is probably not a good match for you because you see cute corgi dogs in your future.
  6. That he’s really single Obviously a Facebook search for the guy might give you this answer, but ask him straight up about his relationship status. You shouldn’t feel like this is pushy—if he’s sleeping with other women, you deserve to know!
  7. When he last got tested Going to his house usually points to sex, so you want to know that he’s recently been tested for HIV and STIs. It also helps to know what his method of safe sex is. If he’s anti-condom, he must GTFO.
  8. That he can hold a conversation Long, awkward silences in conversation point to a lack of connection. It helps to know this before you go to his place for dinner so that you don’t sit there and feel like a fool. If he’s boring you already, don’t waste your time.
  9. His living arrangements You NEED to know this before you go home with a guy. Does he live with roommates, his ex-girlfriend, alone or with his family? These are important to know what to expect when you go over there. If he’s living with family, that means going to his house will probably entail meeting them—that’s a big step you might not be ready to take. His living arrangements also give you insight into his life. If he’s moved back in with his family, there could be a reason for that, like unemployment. On the other hand, if his ex is sharing an apartment with him, it’s a red flag that he might have baggage or not be over her.
  10. What gets under his skin You want to know what upsets and irritates him, as this also shows you if he’s a patient person or a time bomb waiting to explode—and you don’t want to be around the latter.
  11. That he’s happy in his life Ask him questions about his life and what he feels about it. If he’s happy and positive, this is a good sign that he’s content with where he’s at. This is important because you don’t want to get with someone who’s in a bad place and hope you’ll be able to help him out of it. You want a guy who’s got his act together and can make himself happy.
  12. That he’s seriously into you If you’ve gone on a few dates, you should feel that he’s really into you and not just for a booty call. If your feelings are mutual, that’s a good sign that you’re onto something good. You should feel special and cared for when he’s around.
  13. His views on sex You want to be sure that you’re on the same page sexually even if you’re not looking for a relationship. What happens the morning after sex? Does he expect you to pack your things and GTFO or will breakfast be on the cards? What kind of sex does he like? What does sex mean to him? Asking these things will help you get a better understanding of what time with him will be like or if he’s going to be a huge disappointment.
  14. That he’s consistent See him in different situations to be sure that he’s not just showering you with attention when it’s convenient for him. For instance, what’s he like when his friends are around? Is he the same with you in public as in private or does he avoid you when others are present? Does he text and see you regularly or is he just asking you to his place now that he’s bored and lonely?
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.