No-BS Affirmations Every Single Girl Needs To Remember

When you’re down in the dumps wondering why-oh-why you’re single, you need to take a step back and realize that it’s actually pretty awesome. I’m not just saying this to make you feel better — it’s the truth. You’re your own woman and you get to do things on your terms – isn’t that proof enough? Still not convinced? Here are no-BS affirmations to snap you out of your “What’s wrong with me?” thinking. (P.S. There’s nothing wrong with you.)

  1. No, you actually won’t be single forever. If I had a penny for every time a friend of mine cried into a glass of wine about how she’ll be single forever, I’d be a rich woman. I’d also be an even richer woman if I had made bets with them about it, because I’d be cashing in left and right. I won’t tell you there’s someone for everyone, because that’s an annoying cliché you don’t want to hear, but I will tell you that you won’t be single forever, so you should embrace it while you can.
  2. Being single is good for the soul. Just when you think you can’t take being single any longer, stop and look at your life. Sure, you don’t have a partner, but what you do you have? You have a sense of self, you’re strong, you know what you want, and you’re totally self-reliant. These are extraordinary qualities to have, not just as a single person, but for when you’re in a relationship again, too.
  3. If you wanted to be in a relationship, you could be. This is very true. You could go out right now, pick up someone at a bar, swipe right on Tinder, and land yourself a partner immediately. However, the reason you don’t do that and the reason you’re currently single is because you have standards and you’re not going to settle. You’re better than that crap.
  4. Being single isn’t a disease. The way the online dating business and the media in general portrays single people it’s as though everyone must be in a relationship. If you’re not, then you’re crap. Screw that. Being single isn’t bad, wrong, sad, depressing, pathetic, or even a plague that should be eradicated. It’s simply a relationship status, and it doesn’t define you.
  5. Relationships are actually hard. If you think back to your past relationships, you can probably see just how difficult they were. I’m not saying all relationships are difficult all the time, but relationships definitely take work. It doesn’t take work to be single. So revel in that you don’t have the drama or nonsense that comes with arguing over whose turn it was to buy the damn toilet paper.
  6. You know your worth. Even before my husband cheated on me, I was already emotionally out the door. I had married a man who didn’t live up to the expectations I had for him or the promises he made. I worked 10-hour days while he napped and worked 10-hour weeks. This wasn’t OK for me. It was during this time that I realized my worth, and while the ending to our relationship was messy and a disaster unlike anything I’ve ever known, I can sit here, happily single knowing I’m worth more than being the financial provider for a lazy man.
  7. It takes time to find the right one. While I’m personally against the whole concept of soulmates, I do believe there are right and wrong people for us. If you’re single and dating, but totally bummed out that you haven’t met someone cool in so long that you feel like you’re losing your mind, fear not. It takes time to find someone who’s right for you. Once you realize that, you can’t quit stressing about being single and understand that it takes time.
  8. You’re not a boat in a harbor. What I mean by this is the boat in the harbor is kept in place by an anchor. That anchor, if you’re in the wrong relationship, could be a partner who’s completely undeserving of you and is giving you more grief than love, partnership, and support. You’d rather be a boat that sails around the world than one stuck in the harbor. Trust me on this one.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.