Are You Actually Ready To Date Or Are You Better Off Single?

Are You Actually Ready To Date Or Are You Better Off Single? ©iStock/Brickrena

When you’re seriously feeling the pressure of being single and looking for Mr. Right,  it’s easy to forget that taking a break from dating is actually possible – and completely okay. Some people stay happily single for years and then, boom, they fall in love and meet the right person. Others are happy being on their own long-term, and both of those things are fine. Not everyone is meant to be on the market all the time, and it’s probably better if they’re not. Here are some ways to know if you should even be dating right now or if you’re better off enjoying the single life for the time being.

  1. Think about whether you’re open to change. If you have a pretty strict schedule or routine these days – you work long hours, never miss a yoga class and Saturday night is always booked with your girlfriends – then it might not be the right time to add a guy into the mix. If you really want a relationship and are okay with it messing up your routine (in the best way, of course), then go for it. But it’s so much better to be honest with yourself now rather than after seeing someone for a month and resenting him for something that’s not even his fault.
  2. Picture yourself going on a date tonight. How do you feel? If you’re excited with equal amounts of realism mixed in, because you know that thinking this date will be your soulmate is asking for trouble, then awesome. Have fun. But if you’re dreading the thought of making small talk with a stranger, it’s a good idea to put a pause on your search for love. You’ll know when you want to try again.
  3. Don’t date for the sake of dating. If your weekend evenings have been filled with less than thrilling first dates that go nowhere and make you feel totally bored, then you may be burnt out on dating and just going through the motions. That’s definitely not the best way to start a new relationship when you do find someone you’re into.
  4. Forget about what your friends are doing. It’s almost impossible to meet your BFFs for drinks and not talk about your dating lives. Everyone has nuts stories and there’s no better way to get over a bad date than to laugh about it. But it can feel like a lot of pressure when you want to take a month for yourself and your friend keeps asking if you’re seeing anyone. Just smile and change the subject. You only have yourself to answer to at the end of the day.
  5. Decide if you want something casual or serious. This is probably the number one thing to figure out before you even think about accepting a drinks invite – or asking someone out yourself, because who said guys have to make the first move? You’ll lower your chances of getting hurt or hurting someone if you know what you want from the get-go. If you want to date with zero commitment, then this takes the pressure off and you may not need a dating break. If you’re not a casual kind of girl but the thought of getting into a relationship freaks you out right now, then give yourself some time.
  6. Try going on one date a month for a few months. This is a good way to ease yourself back into the dating game without it taking up too much of your time. And hey, you might get lucky and click with someone, which will make you so glad you tried, right?
  7. Don’t be ashamed of wanting some “Me Time.” There’s nothing wrong with admitting that you want a few weekends to yourself with the drug of your choice (Real Housewives or House of Cards – no judgment here).  Watch to your heart’s content.
  8. If you find yourself actually jealous of your happily single friends, it’s a sign. Our friends can set an inspiring example if they know they don’t always need a guy and can enjoy their lives.
  9. Changing your mind is totally okay. If you go on a few dates and then realize you would rather be single right now, no problem. You don’t need to answer to anyone or explain it. And when you want to get back into the game, you’ll know.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.