The Struggles Of Being A Woman Who Isn’t Looking For A Relationship

The Struggles Of Being A Woman Who Isn’t Looking For A Relationship ©iStock/Stock_colors

Women aren’t always looking for a fairy tale. Sometimes at certain stages of our lives, we just want to hold on to our freedoms, but still enjoy the company of men in a dating capacity. The problem is however, that men never seem to understand this, and neither do our friends, which leaves us to deal with some BS assumptions and confrontations that we’d rather not. Believe it or not, not all women are playing a game, or working some reverse psychology to bait our next Prince Charming. Sometimes, we just want to date, enjoy someone’s company, and not have it turn into anything more than just that. These are the struggles of women who aren’t looking for a serious relationship.

  1. Men think we’re pretending or playing a game. When we don’t react or care about the same things a woman looking for love would normally care about – like not texting back for days on end, or not being asked to be his plus one at his buddies birthday party, it’s assumed it’s because we have initiated “chase me” mode. Sometimes, we just actually don’t care. You’re free to go, but stay if you want. It’s really that simple with us.
  2. Our friends recite their assumptions, which aren’t even close to the truth. It’s not that will never be open to a relationship; it’s just not what we want right now.
  3. Our parents are worried about us. We’ve likely stopped even mentioning a man’s name in parental company just to avoid the conversations of where it’s going or if it’s anything serious. And we get hounded about when we’re going to settle down.
  4. Men treat us like we’re secretly in love with them, and then act like douchebags. When we’re our usual nice and charming selves with men, they assume it’s because we’re trying to “win them over” and then they start to act like they’re in a power position and initiate cliche pull back tactics or testy games to try and bring the adornment they think they have out further.
  5. Guys victimize themselves when we’re honest. When we’re upfront and honest about not wanting anything serious, guys can take it personally, or assume it’s just them we don’t want a relationship with.
  6. Men see it as an invitation to just have sex instead. The men that do understand the concept never seem to understand it fully. They think we just want the D. If we wanted just sex, we would make that clear, and we probably wouldn’t sugar coat it by going out in public with you on actual dates.
  7. When you try to friend a guy, he thinks you want him. Making friends with a man when you’re a single and available woman is a challenging task. Every kindness you pay is seen as an attempt to catch him in a net. Chill, dudes. Sometimes we just want bro friends.
  8. Everyone starts assuming you’re promiscuous. Because of the challenges of actually finding a man to be casual with, we’re constantly dating, which makes people around us think we’re hooking up left, right and center with everyone. Casual dating seems to have been confused with casual sex, and the in between of that and an actual relationship has lost its meaning.
  9. You get questioned about why you feel “that way.” Being asked about why we don’t want a relationship and what made us this way are not only very personal, but also very annoying questions. The assumptions of bitter and resentful relationship histories or “daddy issues” are just plain rude. Shut up.
  10. You realize those Tinder guys lied in their profiles. The guy who said “not looking for anything serious” is an asshat liar. He just played all the same games and assumptions we just went over above. We can read bro, and that’s why we swiped right. Ugh.