Being Tired Of Being Single Is A Special Kind Of Hell

For a while, being single AF is pretty much the best thing ever. You go on dates when you feel like it, you stay home when you don’t, and you live your life to the fullest. But after a while, a switch goes off, and suddenly you can’t stand being solo for another minute. Here’s why being single and ready for a relationship is the worst:

  1. You feel exhausted 24/7. You’re tired all the time from wondering where your person is and the daily annoyances that dating brings into your life. It would be great if you didn’t have to decode a new guy’s text messages or wonder why someone bailed last minute, but that seems to be your reality.
  2. You’ve had way too many almost boyfriends. Your relationships are so short, it’s like you’re living in a Taylor Swift song. Being single doesn’t mean that you never date, of course. You do, but you just never meet anyone who believes in this little thing called “commitment”. Whenever you meet someone who seems like a true contender, you quickly realize that you’re in yet another almost relationship, and then it’s back to square one.
  3. You feel doubly disappointed when something doesn’t work out. Whenever you have more than one date with someone, you believe that things are finally going to work out this time. You know that you shouldn’t jump the gun, but after being single for so long, you can’t help but hope that this time, it’ll be the real thing. When things don’t work out, you feel even more bummed out than you used to. It gets harder and harder to return to your single AF life, no matter how good you have it.
  4. You hate that you have trust issues. You never know who to trust because you’ve heard it all. You’ve been given every excuse in the book for rescheduled plans, and it’s like you never expect a date to actually happen on the night it was originally planned. You find it hard to trust guys because you never know if someone is telling you the truth or a lie. You really don’t want to be this person, but it’s impossible not to be at this point.
  5. You don’t know why it’s this difficult. You know what kind of partner you want to be with. You know how to meet someone (you have all the apps, after all). You DON’T know why it’s so hard to meet a guy that you actually like, and you’re getting really sick and tired of waiting around. You’re starting to wonder if you have some really rotten luck or if everyone goes through this, and sometimes your answer changes depending on the day.
  6. You bargain with yourself on a daily basis. You’re just going to use Tinder for one more week. If you don’t get a date, then that’s it. You’re done. You’re going to stay single and enjoy it. But then a week ends and a new one begins and you still want to meet someone, so you keep going. The struggle is real.
  7. You see nothing funny about dating. In the good old days, you used to laugh for hours with your girlfriends over your crappy dating stories. You found your bad luck hilarious, and it all felt like tons of fun. That’s all over. Now you think that dating is the most depressing thing ever since you still haven’t met anyone, and you cringe instead of smile when you reflect on all your bad experiences.
  8. You question whether you will ever meet the right guy. You’ve always believed in The One, but when you get tired of your solo status, it’s hard to keep thinking so optimistically. You wonder if you’re ever going to meet anyone. Everyone tells you to keep your head up and keep trying, but you’ve used every dating app, you’ve tried every technique in the book, and still, nothing. Are you really supposed to keep going?
  9. You find it tough to give up control. Your schedule is yours and yours alone. You don’t necessarily have all the freedom that people think you do as a single person — you have to work and pay bills, after all — but your life is pretty sweet. Still, when you meet someone new and consider dating them, you find it hard to give up your control, and that adds a whole new level of worry and confusion.
  10. You always want to get out while you still can. Your BFFs think you’re probably too suspicious when you’re dating a new guy, but you think you’re just paranoid enough. Sure, you’ve started to hate being solo, but you don’t want to get involved with the wrong person, and that means bailing at the first sign of trouble. That’s ultimately a good thing — you want to save yourself some hurt. But it stresses you out since you wonder if you’re ever going to stick around for the long run.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.