It’s Not “Bad Timing”—He Just Doesn’t Care Enough To Try

How many times have you been told by a guy that it’s “not the right time” for the two of you to be in a relationship? It’s probably way too many times to count. The truth is that this statement is total BS because there’s no such thing as bad timing in love.

  1. He’s giving you a super lame, clichéd response for a reason. That reason is that he’s not interested in telling you the truth: that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. That might not be an easy thing to say, but it’s impossible to be in a real relationship without being honest. He’s proving that he’s not mature enough for you.
  2. He isn’t making you a priority. People often joke that there needs to be an extra hour in the day to accomplish everything on your to-do lists. That would be awesome, but you’ve probably figured out how to maximize your time and be as productive as possible. You know what your priorities are and you don’t lose sight of them, from work to fitness to eating healthy to hanging out with your BFFs. If he says that it’s bad timing for the two of you to date then he isn’t making you a priority. It’s better to realize that sooner rather than later.
  3. It’s an excuse, plain and simple. When a guy gives you the bad timing speech, there is usually at least one excuse peppered in there as well. Of course, he doesn’t think he’s making excuses. He’s starting grad school in the fall or trying to get a promotion or moving apartments. He honestly seems to believe that these things prevent him from being with you. But they don’t. Remember that he’s making an excuse and there’s actually no reason why two people who like each other can’t explore their romantic connection.
  4. He’s not going to change his mind. You might think that if he can get his school or work stress under control, the two of you can have a real relationship. Stop right there. If he wanted to be with you, he would, and unfortunately, he doesn’t. He’s not going to change his mind later on. And guess what? He doesn’t get to. He had his chance and he totally blew it.
  5. You have to read between the lines. Sometimes a guy will tell you straight-up that he doesn’t have time for a relationship. While that’s most likely false, at least he’s admitting that it’s not happening. Other times, though, you have to read between the lines. If this guy is texting you regularly but refusing to make time for you, then you can be sure that he thinks the timing is bad and that you can’t really be together.
  6. You have to stop blaming yourself. No, it’s not your fault that this is happening. You’re good enough the way that you are. You didn’t come on too strong or act too clingy or want too much. Don’t blame yourself. Blame him. He’s the one who can’t see how amazing you are.
  7. He just doesn’t like you. Have you ever been told that it wasn’t the right time for a guy to date you and then a few months later, he has a serious girlfriend? Yeah. That hurts. But it also proves that this guy really didn’t care enough about you to make you his GF. And that’s okay. You don’t want to force someone to be with you. You need to wait for something real.
  8. He doesn’t have his act together. You don’t want to date someone who can’t get their life in order. This guy definitely has a few issues that he needs to deal with ASAP. If he’s overwhelmed with work or another aspect of his world, is that really someone that you want to date? Definitely not. You want to be with someone who is crushing life as much as you are… and more than that, you totally deserve that.
  9. He’s a lame game player. There’s nothing worse than when you realize that you’re dating a guy who enjoys playing games. No thank you. If a guy feeds you the “bad timing” line then you can be sure that he’s used to manipulating people and doing whatever he wants. This is definitely not a situation that you want to be in.
  10. He doesn’t care about your response. Not only does this guy not care enough to give you an original excuse, he also doesn’t care what you have to say about it. You can say that it’s absolutely the right time. You can say that you two get along great and have amazing chemistry and that you think you should give it a shot. It won’t matter. He’ll shrug off your response and move on, so you might as well beat him to it and walk away.
  11. The right guy won’t give you excuses. This is the most important thing to keep in mind. What do you want to tell your friends and family about the new guy in your life? That he keeps saying it’s bad timing but you believe you are meant to be a couple? Or that you two are on the same page and it’s really amazing? Chances are, it’s the latter. The right guy won’t give you any excuses. He will know just how lucky he is to be with you. That’s the only person that you should date, and that’s a fact.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.