If He’s Not Giving You Attention, He’s NOT Interested—It’s As Simple As That

Maybe you’re embarrassed that you liked someone that didn’t like you back but in the long run, ignoring his obvious indifference towards you isn’t going to make you feel any better. He’s not “really busy at work” or “not the texting type”—he’s just not into you, so stop making excuses for his behavior and just find someone else who treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

  1. Everyone can see through it. Your friends might not have thought twice the first few times you said he was too busy to come out with you and they might have given him the benefit of the doubt when you told them he hadn’t exactly asked you out yet because he was “just shy,” but eventually, they’re going to see all your covering for him for what it is—BS.
  2. You’re embarrassing yourself. You might think it’s humiliating to admit a guy you really like couldn’t care less about you, but it’s a million times worse to be one of those girls who clings onto someone who isn’t worth her energy. Don’t chase someone you know you’ll never catch.
  3. Living in denial is no way to live. Choosing to ignore the obvious fact that he isn’t really making an effort with you is only going to hurt you more in the long run. Denial doesn’t change reality and you’ll eventually have to face it anyway, so why waste your time?
  4. He’s just leading you on. If you make excuses for his lack of interest but then keep letting him back in to get what he wants (read: sex), he’s obviously going to keep doing what he’s doing because it’s working. He knows you’re in deeper than he is but he doesn’t care because you’re letting him off the hook.
  5. A relationship shouldn’t be lopsided. You’re smart—you know you shouldn’t be the one putting in all the effort in a relationship. That’s just common sense. Making excuses for him is putting all the weight on your shoulders to keep things running smoothly—or at least seem like they are. Maintaining a relationship takes work and if he’s not putting it in now, he’s not going to suddenly start.
  6. He could at least make his own excuses. If he even cared a tiny bit, he’d put in the effort to make excuses that sounded a little less cliche than he’s “busy at work” or his “phone died.” If his tired excuses are barely believable, it’s probably because he doesn’t care whether you believe him or not and that’s a pretty bad sign.
  7. You can do a lot better. He’s not the only guy in the world. There are plenty more single guys out there who would actually love to make time for you so why aren’t you clearing your schedule for those guys? Don’t bother with the ones who can’t be bothered with you.
  8. If he liked you, he’d make an effort. Let’s just tell it like it is—if he was interested, there would be no excuse in the book (real or imagined) that would keep him away from you. Not only should you not make excuses for someone who isn’t into you but you shouldn’t be pursuing or dwelling on someone who isn’t into you. It’s never going to happen.
  9. If he isn’t treating you well, that’s partly on you. Sometimes guys will push their luck a little bit just to see what they can get away with. If you let him walk in and out of your life like it’s no big thing, he’s going to keep doing it because why not?
  10. If he’s checking out other girls, he’s interested in other girls. Noticing an attractive girl every once in awhile is normal and to be expected, but if he is blatantly checking them out in front of you, talking about hooking up with other girls and generally acting like he doesn’t care about hurting you… well then, he doesn’t care. Do yourself a favor and find a guy who respects you enough to only have eyes for you (or at least act like it).
  11. It’s actually really easy to send a text. You can say he was too busy at work or his phone died or he was too distracted by his friends to send you a courtesy text but the truth is, if he wanted to talk to you, he would. It takes less than a minute to send a quick text saying he’ll talk to you tomorrow. If you’d do it for him, he should be able to do it for you.
  12. If it feels like an “almost relationship” then that’s what it is. There a plenty of warning signs that point to your not-quite-in-a-relationship status. You haven’t met any of his friends, you can go days without hearing a peep from him, and he has never even come close to using the g-word to describe you. Why deny it? He’s never going to take you seriously, so you might as well just accept it and move on.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.