They’re Not Playing Hard To Get, They’re Just Not Into You

When you’re seeing someone (or trying to see someone) you really like but they’re hot and cold in response, you might think that they’re just playing hard to get. This is nonsense most of the time. The truth of the matter is they just really aren’t into you. If they were, you’d know it.

If someone is into you, it’ll be clear.

When someone really likes you, they’ll make it evident. They’ll do things like call and/or text you regularly, excitedly make plans with you, and be happy to be seen with you in public. You won’t have to play guessing games and try to figure out if they’re feeling you or not. In fact, they’ll just flat out tell you that they’re interested if they are.

If you have to guess, it’s a no.

If you’re always wondering whether or not someone is romantically interested in you, they likely aren’t. This could be for a variety of reasons like being too emotionally unavailable or just not feeling a connection. Whatever the reason, listen to how you feel. Save yourself some time and emotional energy. Get out of there before it’s going to hurt more.

There are signs of disinterest you should be looking out for.

Some signs of them not being interested include being vague about their life, they don’t call or text much, and they’re visibly disinterested when you’re together. Don’t let these signs pass you by! They’re telling you something: this isn’t game of playing hard to get just to reel you in. This is a straight-up pass, and they’re stringing you along.

Don’t settle for shallow attention.

They may be throwing you a bone every so often, but you deserve more than someone’s scraps. Shallow attention makes you feel like crap about yourself, and you should be receiving better than that. Settling is unfair to you. Ideally, you’ll land with someone who’s able to give you their full attention. Who wants anything less than that?

Believe people when they show you who they are.

The person might show you very quickly that they aren’t really interested. Instead of trying to change their minds or convince yourself that they might be, try taking them at face value. People will often reveal themselves and you don’t have to do much guessing. You’re only hurting yourself if you try to convince yourself that they’re only playing hard to get.

You deserve someone willing to make it official.

If this person really isn’t into you, they’ll avoid the talk about being official all day long. This is nonsense. You deserve someone who’s willing to go all-in with you! Someone who will totally make it official without hesitation. You don’t need any of the rubbish of them avoiding the topic. Toss them out.

People’s actions should reflect their words.

Maybe they’re telling you that they’re interested but acting completely unattached and disinterested. They can say whatever they want. If their actions don’t match their words then you shouldn’t listen to them. If they were into you, they would do things that clearly reflect that.

Even if they were playing hard to get, who wants to play games?

Let’s look at every angle. Even if they were playing hard to get and they really are interested in you, is that really what you want? Do you want a person who’s playing games with you? Because it’s far better to have someone who’s straight-up about how they feel. You deserve that!

You have people lining up looking to date you.

You may not believe it, but you’re a catch. There are tons of people who’d date you. Why waste time on a chump? There are plenty of people who are more deserving of your time. You have to grow to trust that you deserve the best and that there are people out there who can give you what you need. You’ve just gotta have the space for them.

There should be equal respect and clarity.

In a dating situation as well as a relationship, there should always be respect and as much clarity as possible. Unclear messages just don’t cut it. Plus, it shows they don’t have enough respect for you to give it to you straight. Wait for that person who can deliver all of this to you! They’re out there, I promise.

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