If He’s Not Spending A Lot Of Time With You, You’re Just Not A Priority

Let’s make one thing clear: no one is “too busy” for love. If a guy is interested, he’s going to text you back quickly, he’s going to make plans with you, and he’ll make it pretty damn clear that he wants to be with you by, you know, actually BEING with you. If he’s never around or uses his hectic schedule as an excuse to cancel or go AWOL on you, that’s an obvious sign that he’s not that into you.

  1. He always uses work as an excuse. We’re all busy but that doesn’t stop us from making time for the people who are important. Sure, maybe he’s started a new job and he’s really stressed out, which is why he’s not texting you as often as he used to. Work is important and it’s a good sign that he’s ambitious, but if he keeps using it as a reason to blow you off then perhaps something else is going on there…
  2. He puts other people—basically everyone else, actually—before you. He cancels plans for the third time in a row because he’s too busy but then you see on Instagram that he’s at a party with his friends. Ouch. Instead of being honest and telling you that he’s not that interested, he’s keeping you on a piece of string. If he never puts you first, then trust me, you’re better off without him.
  3. He doesn’t give you a reason. If he has a genuine reason to cancel, then he’ll explain what’s happening instead of leaving you in the dark. He’s not going to go AWOL and make you question if you’ve done something wrong, he’s going to apologize and make an effort to stay in touch. Ghosting on you and then not giving you a reason why is a crap thing to do and it shows what kind of person he is.
  4. His social media tells a different story. You’ve been waiting for him to text you all day and when he finally sends a message he tells you that he’s been too busy. But you know that’s not the truth. You can see that he’s been liking and retweeting other people’s tweets and posting memes instead of texting you back. It’s obvious that you’re not a priority, so you need to stop making him yours.
  5. You can’t remember the last time he put you first. There’s always something that he puts before you and it’s starting to feel like you’re at the bottom of his list of priorities. Obviously you don’t expect his life to revolve around you but he should at least put you first some of the time. If he repeatedly cancels on you, changes plans, or ignores you then it’s clear how he feels about you.
  6. He says that he’s bad at texting. Let’s give this guy the benefit of the doubt and say that he IS bad at texting—can’t he still call? Usually, when a guy uses this excuse it actually translates to “I’m not really into you” because if he was then he’d talk to you whenever he could. Even when he’s really busy, he’d be setting aside some time out of his day just to see if you’re okay. The lack of texts tells you everything you need to know, so take that as a hint to move on.
  7. He uses the same excuses on repeat. Oh, come on. You don’t honestly think that he has to babysit for the fifth night in a row, do you? He’s probably blowing you off to binge-watch Stranger Things. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting some downtime but if he makes excuses not to see you then that’s a pretty clear sign that you’re not a priority and you never will be.
  8. His messages are short and blunt. When he does eventually reply, it feels like you’re talking to someone who needs a personality transplant. His one-word replies and lack of interest show that he clearly doesn’t care about you. Don’t believe him if he tells you he’s too busy to talk, that’s just his subtle way of letting you know that he’s not interested.
  9. He reads your messages but doesn’t reply. You can see that he’s opened your Snapchat and read your messages but he leaves it unanswered. Do you really think he can’t spare a few seconds out of his day just to reply to your message? No one is THAT busy.
  10. He’s not as busy as he pretends to be. There are 24 hours in a day so there’s no excuse for his lack of communication. If you can make time for him, then there’s no reason why he can’t put in the same effort. Unless of course, he’s not into you and this is his way of blowing you off gently. It’s so easy to use the excuse that you’re too busy but the bottom line is that if he wanted to see you, he would. And if he’s too busy for you, then you can be too busy for him.
Coralle is a freelance writer with an interest in relationships, women's health and parenting. In her free time, she enjoys reading, watching new Netflix shows and spending time with family.