Is He Not That Into You Or Just A Bad Texter?

How can you really tell if a guy’s texting habits mean anything when it comes to how he feels about you? There are ways to tell whether or not he’s into you just by how he texts, but it’s a whole lot easier judging him based on how he acts over how often or what he sends you when you’re not together.

Does he always text you back? It doesn’t matter if it’s within five minutes or two days after the fact—if a guy eventually messages you back, he’s responding to you. A guy who’s not into you will slowly stop responding altogether in the hopes that you’ll get the hint and leave him the hell alone.

Does he start conversations? Sure, some guys will respond to a girl they’re not all that into, but they definitely won’t start a conversation for the sake of it. Unless he’s a loser of epic proportions, if he’s asking you how your day was, it’s because he’s genuinely interested in your answer.

Does he initiate hanging out? If he’s initiating dates but barely texting you in between, that’s not a bad sign at all. It can be taken as such, but some people just don’t like to be glued to their phones or chat too much prior to a date. It’s old-fashioned in a way and it can actually be refreshing. If he’s initiating contact only to initiate a hangout, take it as him showing an effort to be with you.

How is he when he’s with you? If he’s constantly posting, texting and Snapping while he’s with you but it takes you a few days to get a response to a simple question, that’s a pretty recognizable red flag. However, if his phone stays in his pocket while you’re hanging out, it’s a clear-cut sign that he doesn’t really text all that much when he’s busy. It just goes to show that he leads a full life and that’s not a bad thing at all.

How is your texting behavior? Are you bombarding him with triple texts full of serious questions and hot-button topics only to get silence in return? If so, he’s probably ignoring them because most guys find it a lot easier to have full conversations in person as opposed to sitting there typing a novel. If your text game is strong but he’s not reciprocating, don’t cut him out just yet.

Does he give you one-word answers? Did you ask him a yes or no question? If what you’re saying isn’t open-ended and doesn’t require any more elaboration, then there’s nothing wrong with him answering with a “yeah” or a “cool.” He’s probably not even thinking about his response—he just knows that you asked him if he wanted to hang out Friday and he actually does.

Most guys aren’t chatty. This does sound like a sweeping generalization, sure, but it’s true nonetheless. Most guys, even in person, aren’t ones to sit there and exclaim their feelings for you or chat about mundane things for hours. Women are more of the conversationalists, so if he’s still talking to you but isn’t matching your overactive chat skills, there’s nothing wrong with that.

When does he text you? The time of day he texts you is a huge indicator of how he feels, not just how often. If he’s texting you at ten in the morning trying to make plans for next weekend, he’s into you. It’s that simple. If he’s texting you all throughout the week but only after 11 at night, there’s a good chance he only sees you as a hookup. It’s about quality, not quantity.

He can forget to text back and still be into you. If he gets that notification in the middle of guys’ night out, he’s probably not going to respond right away. Then time gets away from him and it’s the next morning and he forgot you texted him at all. It may seem like it’s because he’s forgotten you, but if he’s actually inclined to text back with a, “Sorry, I forgot to text back” then he still cares about what you said and wants to make sure you aren’t left reeling.

Have you ever tried calling him? If all you’ve done is text him and he hasn’t responded as well as you’d like but you’re still hanging out regularly and he seems to be into you when you’re together, try calling instead. If you can introduce the lost art of the phone call, maybe he’ll appreciate it more than trying to get back to you via text if he’s not all that crazy about typing.

Don’t read too much into texting. Too much power has been given to the text message, dating all the way back to the MSN days. At least back then, he could set himself to away and you’d know he wasn’t going to respond immediately, right? Iin any case, texting is just texting. Take stock of the way he treats you on dates and whether or not he’s actually making time for you and you’ll know if he’s into you or not. You’re not going to be able to decipher it via text, so it makes no sense in trying.

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