I’m Not Upset My Ex Is Getting Married, I’m Thrilled

He was the last guy I loved but I hold no ill will towards him. Yes, it was difficult when I first discovered he’d moved in with his new girlfriend and then gotten engaged, but I had time to process it all. Here’s why I want only the best for them:

  1. It’s been long enough that it doesn’t sting anymore. After almost two years, I’m happy to say that I finally feel nothing. No sadness, no regret, no anger, no bitterness—just satisfaction with the life I’ve built after our breakup.
  2. I’ve finally moved on mentally and emotionally. It has nothing to do with my relationship status—I’ve moved on, period. I don’t think about him anymore. I don’t miss him anymore. It feels fantastic. I thought I’d never get here, so I appreciate it wholeheartedly.
  3. I’m dating again after a long hiatus. I took my time and healed after our relationship fell apart. It wasn’t fun and it wasn’t easy, but I did it. I didn’t jump back into dating to numb the pain and I’m proud of that. Now I can start dating healthily because I’m not hurting anymore.
  4. I haven’t seen him in forever. Distance definitely helped. Out of sight, out of mind, right? When we’d just broken up, I kept talking to him and I couldn’t get over it. As soon as I stopped, I felt much better. I think that now I could finally see him and be okay with it—cordial and friendly even.
  5. I’m not attracted to him anymore. It makes me happy to see a picture of him now and feel absolutely nothing. No twinge. No pain. It’s just a picture of someone I know and used to sleep with but no longer want to even kiss. I’m so not into him now. I’m eternally grateful that I’m not carrying a torch for a man who’s with someone else.
  6. I can finally look back on our time together fondly. It doesn’t hurt to recall our memories now. We had a lot of great times and they served their purpose, but I don’t miss them. They were fun, but they’re in the past, just like our relationship. They feel the same to me as any of my other memories with friends or family.
  7. I’ve grown and changed since we dated. The last two years have been transformative for me. I’m not the same person now that I was when we dated, so I can’t really miss dating him. It would be totally different now. The person I am might not even choose him in the first place, let alone stay together so long when we weren’t compatible.
  8. I can see now that she’s a much better match for him. When my ex first began dating his now-wife, it definitely hurt. I didn’t understand what she could offer him that I couldn’t. Now it’s clear that she’s simply better suited to him than I am. It’s not anything against me – that’s just the way it is. They should be together and I’m happy that they found each other.
  9. They seem really happy. Granted, I don’t know personally, but from what I hear they’re a great couple. I can’t hate on an obviously happy romance even if I used to date someone in it. I know that we weren’t meant to be forever, so I wish him nothing but future joy and contentment in his new life.
  10. I don’t regret the time I spent with him. There’s no point in regret. We had what we had at the time and it was great while it lasted. We had a lot of good moments, we had a lot of bad, and we both learned a lot. I’ll never regret any of it, even if I was unhappy or upset more than I should’ve been. That taught me what not to do in the future.
  11. He’s a good guy and he deserves love. I wouldn’t have stayed with him for so long if he was a bad dude. He’s lovely. We simply weren’t right for each other. We care for each other very much, but we want different things out of our lives. That’s the way it goes. I want nothing but the best for him, and I’m glad he’s happy in love.
  12. I’m not the wedding type of girl anyway. We never wanted the same things—we just didn’t want to admit that because we loved each other so much. I’m not the type of girl to have a traditional life. I realize that more and more the older I get. I don’t want to settle down and raise a family, I want to adventure and explore. We would never have been able to overcome that difference.
  13. He and I weren’t meant to stay together. The harsh reality is we weren’t going to last no matter what. Maybe we should never have been together in the first place. Who knows. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that I realize it and I have no feelings about it anymore. I can sit back and hope the best for him even though that means that I’m no longer in his life.
  14. I’ve learned not to take relationships so seriously. Life is too short to get so upset when thing end. I’m realizing slowly but surely that I can’t get so worked up about breakups and still live my best life. I won’t die just because I lose love. It happens to all sorts of people all of the time. Knowing this has enabled me to let my heartbreak go and genuinely wish my ex the best.


A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.