How to Deal When You Get Ghosted

How to Deal When You Get Ghosted ©iStock/Martin Dimitrov

In today’s day and age, ghosting has become one of the most classic breakup moves and unfortunately, it’s also now the most common. Ghosting is when you are seeing or dating someone and then all of a sudden, they just vanish into thin air. They sneak out the back door, stop speaking to you, and never give you any explanation as to what happened. It’s one of the worst feelings in the world and it’s something that I can never quite wrap my head around. I stop and wonder how and when it became socially acceptable to just leave someone high and dry without giving the other person the decency to end it in person. You may have done it to someone else before, but when it happens to you, it feels like getting a punch to the gut. If you ever find yourself getting ghosted, this is how to deal.

  1. Don’t contact him. He’s the one who stopped talking to you, so don’t go chasing him and begging him for answers. Don’t send him paragraph-length text messages and don’t try to get his attention by liking his status updates. It’s only going to make you look more desperate, so save your dignity and don’t reach out.
  2. Delete, unfriend, and erase. You can get over him just as easily as he ghosted you. Save yourself from the agony of being reminded of him every day through social media, photos on your phone, and old text messages. Cut the ties and don’t look back.
  3. Stop playing the blame game. It’s no one’s fault. Don’t blame yourself and don’t blame the other person. It was their choice to end things in that manner, so you just have to let them go.
  4. Resist the urge to overanalyze every detail of what could have gone wrong. There’s no point in trying to figure out the exact moment in time when the other person no longer wished to see or speak to you again. Even if you knew, you can’t change their mind and you shouldn’t have to. They should like you for you. You shouldn’t have to convince them.
  5. Forgive and forget. In all honesty, sometimes ghosting just happens and the other person didn’t necessarily do it on purpose. That’s life. Again, we may have been the villain in the story for someone else. Sometimes, we don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings, so we think it’s just easier to leave quietly. Unfortunately, it’s not the nicest route, but it happens. Instead of holding a grudge, just forgive, forget, and move on.
  6. Remind yourself that there are plenty of fish in the sea. As annoying and cliche as this saying may sound, it’s true. You’ll eventually meet someone else and forget all about that guy who ghosted you.
  7. Stay positive. Just remind yourself that you shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t also want to be with you. Don’t get upset over the fact that they weren’t “the one”. The right one will come your way in time. Keep your head up.
  8. Dust yourself off and try again. Just because it didn’t work with this guy doesn’t mean that all hope is lost. Don’t give up and don’t be defeated. Get back in the game and work your magic again.
Lindsey is a Digital Advertising Professional and Freelance Writer based in New York City. In her spare time, she enjoys running, traveling, and drinking ridiculous amounts of coffee. Follow her on Twitter @lindseyruns