Rejection Sucks, But You Don’t Have To Let It Destroy You

Rejection is, unfortunately, a part of life. We can’t always have everything we want when we want it, and that inevitably leads to putting yourself out there and getting shot down sometimes. It never feels good to be rejected, whether it’s by a guy, a potential employer, or someone you were hoping to be friends with. But a lot of the time it was nothing personal, so there’s no point in wallowing in self pity. Even if protecting yourself becomes your first instinct, you have to remember that the only way to guarantee you’ll never succeed is to stop trying.

  1. Take a minute. We aren’t robots. When we’re rejected we can’t just march on without missing a beat. Burying your feelings will only make things worse in the long run, so if you need to take a little time to acknowledge your disappointment, do it.
  2. Learn something from it. Maybe you put all your eggs in one basket when you were applying for jobs. But as qualified as you might have been, there are some things you can’t control, like who the other candidates are, for example. But now you know that nothing is ever a sure thing, and you should always have a few prospects on the back burner.
  3. Take responsibility. While there are always some things we can’t control, it’s pretty rare that there isn’t something you couldn’t improve on. Maybe you came on too strong with that guy you like, or maybe you didn’t follow up fast enough after your interview. Whatever it may be, keep it in mind for next time, because you don’t want to be one of those people who keeps making the same mistake over and over again.
  4. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Even if you did make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world. As long as you learned something, the experience wasn’t a total waste. We all learn the hard way sometimes, and as frustrating as it is, there’s no point in beating yourself up about it.
  5. Remember that it’s not all about you. Finding the perfect job is a process. There is almost always someone else out there who is a better fit than you. Same goes for starting a relationship. Sometimes it’s more about timing than anything else and it’s true when they say it’s nothing personal.
  6. Look on the bright side. No one likes to hear “well maybe it just wasn’t meant to be” after they’ve been rejected. But sometimes it’s true. There’s usually a silver lining if you look hard enough. Maybe that job would have completely destroyed your social life. Or maybe that guy you really liked was a total mama’s boy anyway. If you look at it the right way, you can probably argue that you dodged a bullet.
  7. Get your mind off of it. You took some time to wallow, and now you’re ready to put it behind you. Hang out with your friends and insist on talking about anything other than your recent rejection. Whether it was a guy you liked or a job you really wanted that didn’t work out, analyzing everything to death isn’t going to make you feel any better. So just don’t.
  8. Keep putting yourself out there. The urge to retreat into your shell and hide is always particularly strong right after you’ve been rejected, but it won’t help. If you keep moving forward and focusing on what’s next, this little set back will be a distant memory before you know it.
  9. Rejection reminds you to keep your ego in check. Think about it— people who always get everything they want are usually pretty cocky and insufferable. Maybe this was the reality check that you needed to remind you to be humble. Because no one likes people who can’t lose gracefully.
  10. Never lose hope. Turning into a Bitter Betty isn’t going to get you anywhere. If you start feeling like there’s no point in bothering anymore, try focusing on smaller, more reachable goals to get your confidence back up. Hope is the fuel that will keep you moving, so do whatever you have to do to hold on to it.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.