Not Wanting Sex Doesn’t Make You A Freak

Sex sells, and arguably runs the world. It’s the object of everyone’s attention. Movies? Always about a guy trying to get a girl. Real life? Always about a guy trying to get a girl (or a girl trying to impress a guy, either way). But what if you find that sex really isn’t on your mind all the time? Is there something wrong with you? Psh, no. Maybe you just have other things to think about that don’t involve naked, sweaty bodies contorting around each other.

1. There’s more to life than getting laid.Contrary to what most movies try to convey, getting laid is not the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you (or at least, I sincerely hope it’s not the greatest thing to ever happen in your life, because that would sad). So if you don’t happen to spend every waking minute thinking about it, or find yourself rarely even considering it, that’s totally fine because there are so many more things you can do with your life.
2. There’s more to a relationship than sleeping together. Just as life doesn’t have to (and shouldn’t) revolve around sex, your relationships don’t have to either. Maybe you’d rather have an Intelligence Squared debate or climb a mountain with a guy instead of sleeping with him. While it’s true that sex is an important part of a relationship, there are other types of relationships that don’t involve sex, like, I don’t know, being friends?
3. You’re asexual.If you’ve never felt the need to be physical with others, you’re actually not alone, and you don’t have a problem. Instead, you may have a different sexual orientation that isn’t interested in sex. Just like heterosexuality and homosexuality, asexuality is also a real thing, and something you shouldn’t be ashamed of.
4. You don’t want to rush into anything. Sleeping with a guy on the first date, or even the second or third, just seems silly to you. It feels too early, or just not right. You’re also not affected by pressure from him or your friends to have sex before you’re ready because you know it could have its consequences. It’s also not important to you that you lose your virginity before you hit some random age.
5. Your time is better spent doing something else. Maybe you’re preparing for a triathlon or studying to become a chemical engineer, and you just don’t have time to be worrying about having sex. Or, you take your future and career seriously. All those hours people spend going out clubbing or dating or chasing the guy of their dreams could actually be used a bit more productively, if you think about it. And there’s nothing wrong with being successful outside of the bedroom.
6. You’ve had too many bad experiences.While nothing but bad experiences shouldn’t exactly make you refuse to ever have sex again, it’s understandable that you’d be a lot more hesitant than average to keep trying. If this is the case for you, know that it’s perfectly fine to take your time feeling comfortable with the right person before even thinking about taking them to bed. After all, the last thing you want is a repeat of last summer.
7. You’d rather focus on fostering an emotional connection.Perhaps you enjoy more the emotional side of a relationship, and not so much the physical part. There’s just something inherently special about bonding over your favorite Zoolander quotes and meeting a guy who appreciates Hemingway as much as you do, and you crave this connection more than you do a naked man body. Because, ew, have you actually looked down there when the lights were on?
8. You’re waiting for the right personAnd when you find them, then you’ll think about maybe becoming interested in having sex, maybe. But until then, sleeping around is not for you, and you could care less.