An Open Letter To All The Players In The Dating Game

An Open Letter To All The Players In The Dating Game ©iStock/PeopleImages

When I was in college, I really hated the statement “hate the player, not the game.” Any time a guy was told he was a “player,” that was the response he gave. My response? STFU! Adecade later, I actually agree with the saying, and want to thank all of the players I’ve encountered. Don’t get me wrong — you’re still a bunch of jerks and I hope you’ve grown up, but you taught me a lot of valuable lessons that have made me an expert at navigating the male sex and their dating games.

  1. You made me toughen up. Only the strong survive, right? Yes. Because of all your BS chipping away at my self-worth, I was forced to eat or be eaten. I’m proud to say I’m now a maneater and much better off because of it.
  2. You opened my eyes. After encountering a handful of you “gentlemen,” the game was very obvious. Your kind shares certain behaviors and phrases, and once I caught on, it was easy to spot. I can now avoid your species unless I’m looking for booty call.
  3. You gave me standards. This might seem strange because hooking up with players is usually the opposite of standards, but you actually made me realize what my standards are! And these days, you’re far, far below what I find acceptable. #NoSecondChances
  4. You forced me to grow up. Emotional little girls have a really hard time dealing with players because, well, you play with our emotions. You guys really forced me to be an adult and either accept the consequences of playing with you, or to move along to something more worthwhile.
  5. You made me want more. It isn’t always easy to find, but spending far too much of my formidable youth with your “kind” really encouraged me to seek out men who are leagues above you idiots.
  6. You made me really conscious of my sexual health. Thank you for making me take my sexual health really seriously and forcing me to take extra precautions to make sure I didn’t catch whatever you may have had going on. Without you, I may have become lax in my preventive measures and might currently have a gift that keeps on giving.
  7. You gave me new friends. A funny outcome of having played with some of you players is finding friendships with your other playmates. I truly enjoyed meeting them, discussing you, and then cooperatively dumping your ass.
  8. You showed me people can change. I don’t buy that people can’t change. We all change everyday, and knowing a few of you now, a decade later, I’m happy to see that you’re married, fathers, and are no longer screwing everything with legs. You almost restored my faith in men.
  9. You also reminded me people can stay stuck in their bad habits. For those of you who didn’t grow up, you reminded me to be cautious and recognize the past can repeat itself. Thank you for keeping me diligent and aware.
  10. You made me look for the nice guys instead of the hot guys. I’m proud to admit that I no longer look for the most attractive guy in the place; I look for the friendliest and nicest. Every single serious boyfriend I’ve had, except for one, has been such a nice guy because I never wanted to date the likes of you again! Nice men do awesome things for a girl’s self-esteem and well-being
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314