To The Guy Who Ran At The First Sign Of Trouble

We were in the honeymoon stage and everything seemed perfect, but then we had our very first fight. It should have been just a speed bump on the journey to true love, but we couldn’t seem to get over the tiniest of obstacles. I thought it was just a rift, but in the blink of an eye, you started talking about this being “the end.” Why do you want to run at the first sign of trouble?

  1. Every relationship has its problems. Good luck finding one that doesn’t. Running at the first sign of trouble is just being lazy. Things won’t always be perfect, but if we never had bad times, how would we be able to appreciate the good? Every relationship has its own unique issues — you just have to decide if you care enough to stick around. I’m beginning to think you don’t, and I think that’s what hurts most.
  2. If you can’t love me during the tough times, you don’t deserve the good ones. Like any human being, I have good days and bad days. Our relationship is going to have ups and downs. I can’t promise you that I’ll be happy all the time or that I’ll never let you down. I’m only human, but I’ll try to be the best I can be as long as you love me either way. I’ll offer you the same care and support in return.
  3. I don’t “get back together.” I refuse to be a part of the break up/get back together cycle. Fights are something you get through while you’re still together, but breaking up means the end of the relationship. We’re not pressing the pause button. If you want to call it quits, that’s perfectly fine, but don’t come crawling back to me when you realize that you threw away something really amazing.
  4. If we’re not fighting then we just don’t care. Couples that don’t fight aren’t perfect; they simply don’t carry enough to put in the effort to fight for their relationship. If we’re not fighting then we’re losing the game of love because the strongest couples are the ones who keep fighting to find a resolution and make things work.
  5. We’re not always going to see eye to eye on everything. Sometimes we’re going to just have to accept that we disagree, but that’s where compromise comes in. You see the world in one way and I see it in another and that’s okay. We can agree to disagree or we can find common ground but either way, running away from the problem isn’t an option.
  6. If you run away, you don’t deserve a second chance. You don’t get three strikes before you’re out. This isn’t baseball. You don’t get to run away when crap hits the fan and then make a surprise return when my life is back on track. If you run from me once, you might as well keep going because there’s no turning back.
  7. Stop looking for perfection. It doesn’t exist. You’re not perfect, I’m not perfect, no relationship is going to be perfect. If you think love doesn’t have its complications, you’ll be running from relationship to relationship and girl to girl for the rest of your life. Nothing in this life is perfect, so accept the beauty in flaws before it’s too late.
  8. I want a man who’s willing to make an effort. Who ever told you that love was going to be easy? There will be ups and downs, but you at least have to try — nothing worthwhile comes without a little effort. Running away is just like giving up and being a quitter. The fact is, you just can’t cut it when times get tough and if you want things to just be easy then you really are better off alone.
  9. You’re not automatically entitled to love — you have to earn it. If you’re not willing to do the work, why should you get the reward? You run at the first sign of trouble and that’s not a very good tactic if true love is your endgame. If you want to be a man who deserves love, then you need to be a man who can stick by a woman through thick and thin.
  10. You’re just a boy, but I’m looking for a man. You can’t hack it when times get tough, so you just runaway like a little boy. Your immaturity is astounding. I’m not going to wait around for you to grow up and neither will any other confident woman. Men face their troubles, but boys run and hide. Which are you?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.