10 Signs He’s Not Capable Of Loving You The Way You Deserve

The kind of love that enhances a person’s life and fulfils them is one that allows a person to flourish. When a guy loves you the way you deserve, you’ll live your best life when you’re with him. He’ll make you feel safe and secure, and life will be better with him than it was without him. If he’s not capable of giving you that kind of love that you deserve, you’ll be able to tell. Here are the signs to look out for.

  1. You can’t be yourself around him. Let’s be clear: you deserve someone who loves you for who you are. You should be able to be yourself around him without fearing that he’s going to stop loving you. At the beginning of a relationship, it might take a while for you both to reveal your true selves. But after the honeymoon stage is over and you are comfortable together, you should be able to be yourself.
  2. He holds your flaws against you. We’ve all got flaws. Love is about accepting our partner’s flaws because they’re part of what makes that person who they are. If he holds your flaws against you, that’s a sign that he’s just not capable of giving you the love you deserve. When we say flaws, we don’t mean unacceptable or harmful behavior, like lying or domestic abuse or infidelity. Instead, flaws are those traits that he might not find desirable but they’re just part of you.
  3. He doesn’t understand you. Understanding plays a part in real love. If two people don’t understand each other, it’s difficult for them to build a meaningful and lasting bond. So if he claims that he loves you but he doesn’t understand you, and he repeatedly shows that by misunderstanding you, it could be a sign that he’s not right for you.
  4. He pressures you to change. It’s one thing to encourage your partner to be the best version of themselves. It’s another to take away their free will and put pressure on them to change to suit your own desires. For example, if you have a smoking habit and he gently tells you about why you should think about giving it up for your health, that’s not a red flag. But it is a red flag if he tells you that he’s going to dump you unless you can lose 10 pounds or learn how to cook properly.
  5. You feel like you have to impress him. It’s natural to want to impress someone when you first start dating them. But you can’t spend the rest of your life running around like a headless chicken trying to win over the person you’re in a relationship with. While you can still want to make him proud, it should feel like you’ve already won him over. It shouldn’t feel like you’re constantly trying to gain his approval because you don’t have it already.
  6. He manipulates you to feel insecure/not good enough. Someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved would never purposefully manipulate you to feel insecure. If he makes passive-aggressive comments, tells you what someone might have said behind your back, or shows affection for someone else to make you jealous, those are all red flags.
  7. He doesn’t accept your friends and family. If you’re like most people, then your friends and family are a packaged deal. Not only should a guy accept you for who you are, but he should also accept your people. If he can’t be nice to them for your sake, it’s a sign that he can’t give you the love you need and deserve.
  8. He lies to you. The strongest relationships stand on a foundation of trust. If your man always lies to you, how can you trust him? Frequent lying, whether it’s about big issues or smaller ones, indicates that he just can’t love and respect you the way you deserve.
  9. He doesn’t support your dreams. You deserve someone who roots for your dreams as if they’re his own. He should be your biggest cheerleader. If he can’t get around your ambitions, and either ignores them or tries to convince you to abandon them, you deserve better. End of story.
  10. He doesn’t want the best for you. A partner that loves you the right way wants the best for you. He’ll help you to grow and be the best version of yourself without bullying you into it. Sometimes, that will mean raising issues with you, even when it’s uncomfortable. If he loves you the way you deserve, he’ll go to that effort rather than sweeping uncomfortable topics and situations under the rug.


Vanessa Locampo is an Aussie writer who’s equally obsessed with YA fiction and pasta. Her time is divided between writing all the things, reading all the things, listening to Queen, and bopping her cat on the nose. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and has written for sites including Hotsprings.co and Discovering Montana, and currently works as an editor at Glam. You can keep up with her on Instagram @vanessaellewrites.