Too many women believe they’re fundamentally unlovable. You might think you’re too damaged, difficult, unattractive, or unworthy, but every bit of that is untrue. You’ve been hurt, left, abandoned, or rejected — and while you may view that as evidence for being unlovable, isn’t it possible that the person doing the hurting is the one less worthy of receiving love, not you?
- You’ve been lied to. A lot. You’ve dated cowards who’ve been too afraid to be honest about the relationship. They made you feel responsible for what was going wrong when it was completely out of your hands. You were lied to when you were told that you expected too much out of a partner and that what you wanted was unrealistic. The truth is simple: he wasn’t good enough for you. He wasn’t willing or capable of being the man you thought he could be, and he wasn’t going to own up to that. It was easier to lie and make you feel unworthy of anything better, or at fault for the bad relationship, silly for wanting more, or unlovable to anyone else. They were lies to keep you around as long as he wanted because he always knew you were actually out of his league.
- You’re not only lovable, you’re remarkably captivating. You know why a man chooses to make you feel small? Because he can’t stand the idea of you being strong enough to walk away from him. I’m in no way making excuses for his behavior (he’s garbage), I’m just pointing out that you’re a desirable person that men want to love and have in their lives, by any means. You’re captivating; men are drawn to you. Unfortunately, this means you will attract guys that are wrong for you along the way. They’ll say anything to be with you and stay with you because you’re remarkable. You’re so lovable, in fact, that you’re a target for people who are willing to manipulate you in order to be by your side. It’s not your fault that bad guys are drawn to you, or that you’ve given them the benefit of the doubt in the past.
- You’ve been through hell and came out stronger. You’ve been burned pretty badly by love in the past, and it hurt like hell. The silver lining is that you’re stronger now than you’ve ever been before. You know you can stand on your own and you don’t need to rely on anyone. You’re a survivor and you’re strong enough to accept that you deserve love, respect, and happiness, even when that feels scary.
- You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s insecurities. You may feel unlovable because of all the lies and manipulations unconfident men have dumped on you in order to make themselves feel more secure. They felt better when you felt a little worse, or a bit more trapped, or less hopeful that you could have something better. That kind of behavior is completely unacceptable and you shouldn’t have to suffer because someone else can’t make themselves feel bigger without making you feel small. You aren’t responsible for their stuff and it’s not up to you to fix them. Anyone who makes you feel worthless in order to keep you around isn’t worth a second of your time. The correct way to keep a woman is by being a loving and supportive partner, not by sabotaging their confidence and sense of self-worth. You didn’t cause his insecurities that make him act this way, so you don’t deserve to be punished for them.
- The future is up to you. If you continue to believe the lie that you are unlovable, you might end up settling for less than you deserve. You do, in fact, deserve a good man who respects you and enhances your life. I hope don’t tolerate an abusive partner another day in your life. I hope you stop blaming yourself for crappy things other people have done or said to you. I hope you surround yourself with people who build you up and choose a path of healing and self-love. You deserve it, but no one can make it happen but you.
