Opinion: I Still Prefer When A Guy Makes The First Move

All women should feel comfortable making the first move if that’s what they want to do. Most guys like it, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t be perfectly acceptable. With that being said, I’m still not the type of girl who will ask a guy out. I know if I really want to, I can, but at the end of the day, I just don’t want to. I want a guy who will make the first move, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

  1. It shows confidence. A guy who’s willing to put himself out there is a guy who has confidence in himself and what he has to offer. Even if he’s just looking for something casual, if he’s willing to risk rejection to get it, he must be at least somewhat confident that he’ll succeed.
  2. It’s nice to feel like a guy can’t help but talk to me. Again, if he’s managed to get over a fear of rejection, that must mean he thinks the risk is worth it. What girl doesn’t like to think that a guy saw her and just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get to know her?
  3. I like aggressive guys. Maybe it’s a personal preference, but I like guys who are more on the dominant side. If a guy is willing to make a move, he must at least have the potential to be aggressive in him, and I know that’s the type of guy I’m attracted to in the long run.
  4. I don’t mind moving slowly. Even if it takes a guy a little time to work up the courage to make a move, I don’t really mind. I’d rather be patient and let him do it than get fed up and just make a move myself before he even has a chance.
  5. A lot of the time I’m not even paying attention. I tend to be lost in my own little world often, so even if a guy was checking me out, I probably wouldn’t notice. That’s why he’s going to have to make his interest known if he wants me to give him a chance because if he waits for me, it’ll probably never happen.
  6. I like the idea of being chased. It may be a traditional way to look at dating, but I still want to be pursued. I don’t like the feeling of chasing a guy, so unless I get a super clear signal that he’s interested, I probably won’t be the one making the first move.
  7. I may be a little afraid of rejection. I mean, it’s hard not to be, right? I don’t envy guys for having the pressure of making the first move on their shoulders. But when someone is really worth it, I hope I’d be able to convince myself to go for it, and I want a guy who will go outside his comfort zone and do the same. I know guys worry about the same thing, but still!
  8. If he doesn’t make a move, I automatically assume he doesn’t want to. Even though we all know women are perfectly capable of making the first move and actually do sometimes, the norm is still for the guy to be the pursuer. That means guys know if they say nothing, the girl they like will probably just walk away. If he still can’t work up the courage, then I’m going to assume he isn’t that interested.
  9. It’s easier to figure out his intentions. What a guy says, how he says it, and how persistent he is all help to determine if he’s just looking for a hookup or wants something more. If I pursue a guy, there’s no guarantee he’s not just going to go along with it because he thinks he’ll get laid without making any effort whatsoever. If a guy pursues me, sure, he might just want to sleep with me. However, it’s going to take some effort to even get me into bed, so if the guy makes the first move, he’ll have to make a lot more after that.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.