Are Men Really Sticking Their Junk Into Beakers After Sex? One Woman Claims They Are

Sex is messy and sometimes you just want to clean up a bit before settling in for some post-coital cuddling. While most people opt for a quick pee and maybe a wipe with a towel or something, one woman on Mumsnet revealed that she and her partner have a whole other approach: they use a penis beaker.

1. What the hell’s a penis beaker, you ask? Mumsnet user SaraCrewe didn’t bother to change her display name before taking to the popular forum seeking validation. She somehow got wind of her and her husband’s junk dunker being a bit weird and wanted others to tell her she was totally normal. “We have a dedicated post-sex cleanup area on the bedside table,” she wrote. “A box of tissues, a small bin, and a beaker of clean water for temporary cleaning/dunking while the bathroom is occupied by me. Apparently our penis beaker is strange and not the done thing. Does everyone else just lay there in a sticky post-coital glow until morning? Really?”
2. Yeah, this is weird. While SaraCrewe hoped that many others would come to her rescue and tell her that they too have penis beakers, that didn’t happen. Instead, the other women on the forum seemed to collapse into virtual fits of laughter. No one could believe this was a serious thing and everyone had some pretty massive questions. Why didn’t OP and her partner just use the bathroom together? Couldn’t he go after she was finished? What happened to good old fashioned towels and baby wipes?
3. It’s technically not a beaker. OP revealed that it’s actually more of a green tumbler cup that they picked up at a local shop… you know, just in case you were thinking they have an actual scientific beaker on their bedside table or whatever.
4. Is this dirty talk for them? One commenter wanted to know if OP and her partner consider the penis beaker part of their foreplay and had a pretty important technical question. Does one of them get in the mood and suddenly announce, “I’m feeling fruity tonight darling, fill up the penis beaker!”? This comment alone had everyone in hysterics.
5. What if someone accidentally drank from this? OP says that her water bottle has a pop-top so she wouldn’t confuse the junk dunker for her drinking water, but they have kids! What if the kids wandered in and drank from this? I’m gagging just thinking about it!
6. This is just… kinda gross. Sure, OP’s partner might feel like going to sleep with dirty manparts is gross, but surely it’s grosser to have junk-juice filled water just fermenting on your bedside table overnight that you then have to get rid of the next day? Getting out of bed to have a quick wash just seems like an all-around better option here.
7. Dear God, I hope they don’t use that cup for anything else. I mean, imagine going to their house for dinner! If you see a green tumbler cup put on the table, RUN! Before then, read the rest of the thread over on Mumsnet and prepare for aching cheeks from laughing so much.