If your parents were always overly involved in your life, it’s likely their parenting style has left a lasting impact. You might find yourself still struggling with certain behaviors or feelings, even as an adult. While therapy can be super helpful in understanding and changing these patterns, sometimes those old habits hang around longer than you’d like. Here are 15 common behaviors of people who grew up with overbearing parents.
1. You apologize even when it’s clearly not your fault.
If you had parents who were always on your case, you probably say “sorry” way too much – even when you didn’t screw up. It’s like you’re always trying to avoid any kind of trouble. You might feel like everything’s your fault, or you’re constantly worried about making people mad. But here’s the thing: you can’t fix everyone’s problems, and you definitely don’t deserve the blame for everything.
2. Even the simplest decisions are hard to make.
If your parents always made choices for you, even little decisions like what to wear could feel impossible. It’s like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself, even on something as simple as dinner. That’s because you never really got to flex those decision-making muscles. But the good news is, the more you practice making choices for yourself, the easier and more natural it’ll feel.
3. You bottle up your emotions.
Growing up under a dominating influence can lead to suppressing your true feelings. People in this situation often feel they can’t express their emotions openly and end up bottling them up or trying to compartmentalize them. Over time, this can lead to stress, anxiety, or even depression. Learning to express emotions in a healthy way is super important for your overall well-being, so make it a priority.
4. You’re terrified of failure.
The fear of failure can be paralyzing for those who grew up with overbearing parents. You might have internalized the idea that making mistakes is unacceptable, and that fear can be overpowering, holding you back from trying new things or taking risks. You need to understand that failure is a natural part of learning and growing. Without it, you’ll just stay stagnant.
5. You don’t stand up for yourself.
People raised in overly controlling environments often struggle to assert themselves. You might shy away from expressing your needs or opinions, especially if they conflict with other people’s. Developing self-assertiveness is key for you to ensure your voice is heard and your needs are meat. They’re just as valid as everyone else’s!
6. You don’t trust anyone.
Trust issues can emerge when your early caretakers were overbearing. It’s possible that you struggle to trust other people, fearing manipulation or control. Building trust can be a slow process, but it’s vital for forming healthy relationships. Learning to discern trustworthy behaviors in others is a step in the right direction. Not everyone is out to get you, as hard as that can be to believe.
7. You’re a validation junkie.
Constantly seeking approval or validation from others can be a sign of having overbearing parents. Maybe you feel like you’re not good enough unless someone else affirms you, but that’s BS. You need to work on self-acceptance and recognize your own worth without needing anyone else to do it for you. You’ve got this.
8. You Constantly Seek Reassurance.
If you find yourself frequently seeking reassurance for even the smallest things, it could be a hangover from growing up with overbearing parents. You might need constant confirmation from other people to feel secure in your actions and decisions. This behavior is often rooted in a fear of making mistakes and not feeling confident in your own judgment.
9. You Have a Hard Time Saying No.
People raised by controlling parents often find it hard to refuse requests or set limits with others. You probably feel guilty or anxious about displeasing someone by saying no. Learning to assertively say no is a crucial step in honoring your own needs and managing your time and energy effectively.
10. You Feel Responsible for Other People’s Happiness.
Taking on the responsibility for others’ happiness is a common trait in those with overbearing parents. You might feel it’s your duty to keep everyone around you happy, often at the expense of your own well-being. Recognizing that everyone is responsible for their own happiness is vital for their emotional health.
11. You’re Overly Critical of Yourself.
A harsh inner critic can be a result of growing up with overly critical parents. If this is you, you probably end up belittling their own efforts or accomplishments more often than not. You have to practice self-compassion and recognize the unrealistic standards you’ve set for yourself. Then, try to bring yourself a bit more down to earth.
12. You Avoid Conflict at All Costs.
Conflict avoidance is another behavior that can stem from an upbringing with overbearing parents. It means you go to great lengths to avoid disagreements, fearing confrontation or the possibility of displeasing someone. You need to learn to face issues head-on, largely because if you don’t, they end up becoming a way bigger deal than they should be.
13. You Have a Tendency to Overthink Things.
Overthinking and second-guessing themselves can be common in those who grew up with controlling parents. You might constantly analyze your actions or worry about the outcomes of your decisions. However, you need to work on trusting your instincts and making peace with uncertainty.
14. You’re Uncomfortable with Independence.
Discomfort with independence is a notable sign. Even though you might crave autonomy, the idea of being independent can feel daunting if you were rarely allowed to make your own choices. Gaining confidence in your ability to stand on your own is a key part of their journey toward personal freedom.
15. You struggle to set healthy boundaries.
Lastly, setting boundaries might be challenging for anyone who had overbearing parents. You might allow people to overstep your limits or feel guilty for asserting your boundaries. This is no good. You deserve respect and consideration, and if holding someone to that means they don’t stay in your life, good riddance!
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