People Who Avoid Difficult Conversations Usually Have These 15 Things In Common

People Who Avoid Difficult Conversations Usually Have These 15 Things In Common

There’s nothing worse than having an awkward conversation that ruins your day. It’s tempting to want to avoid certain topics or addressing particular issues because you know it’s going to be downright painful, but if you’re mature, you probably realize that you’ll have to do it anyway. People who avoid tough talks because they don’t want to deal with the response they’ll get or they find it hard to vocalize their feelings usually have these traits too — and who wants them?

1. They Value Comfort Over Growth.

Portrait of a beautiful girl enjoying reading a book at home.

People who shy away from tough talks often prioritize their comfort zone. They prefer sailing in smooth waters, even if it means missing out on personal growth. This preference for ease over challenge keeps them in a safe bubble, but it also means they might miss chances to deepen relationships or resolve issues.

2. They’re Terrified of Conflict.

The thought of rocking the boat is pretty daunting for them. The idea of a conversation spiraling into an argument is enough to keep them silent. They tend to associate difficult conversations with negative outcomes, making the prospect of an open, honest dialogue seem more risky than rewarding.

3. They Struggle with Vulnerability.

Opening up isn’t their strong suit. The thought of exposing their true feelings or opinions, especially if they think these might be unpopular, is uncomfortable. They often keep their cards close to their chest, preferring to maintain a facade rather than risk being seen as vulnerable or flawed. (BTW, if you’re sick of ending up in relationships with people like this, our sister site, Sweetn, is for you. They harness the power of your own mind to overhaul your love life in amazing ways.)

4. They Prefer to Keep the Peace.

Maintaining harmony is their go-to move. They’d rather smooth things over quickly than delve into the nitty-gritty of a problem. This approach might keep things calm on the surface, but it can also mean important issues get swept under the rug, only to resurface later.

5. They Might Lack Confidence in Their Communication Skills.

Expressing themselves in tough situations isn’t their forte. They might doubt their ability to articulate their thoughts clearly or fear being misunderstood. This lack of confidence can hold them back from initiating conversations that require a delicate balance of honesty and tact.

6. They Often Rely on Assumptions.

Without open discussions, assumptions become their truth. They might fill in the blanks of what they think people feel or mean, instead of seeking clarification. This reliance on guesswork can lead to misunderstandings and missed opportunities for clarity and connection.

7. They Can Be Overly Concerned with How Other People See Them.

What people think matters a lot to them. The possibility of being judged or viewed in a negative light by other people can be paralyzing. This concern for external opinions can overshadow their own needs or feelings, leading them to sidestep conversations that might put their image at risk.

8. They Often Prioritize Short-Term Relief Over Long-Term Solutions.

People who dodge difficult conversations tend to opt for immediate comfort. They might think avoiding a tough talk now is easier, even if it means problems could grow bigger down the line. This short-term relief often comes at the expense of finding lasting resolutions.

9. They Can Have a Low Tolerance for Emotional Discomfort.

Handling emotionally charged situations isn’t their strong point. The mere thought of delving into emotionally complex discussions makes them uneasy. They prefer staying in a zone where emotions are more predictable and less intense, steering clear of conversations that might stir up strong feelings.

10. They Might Rely Heavily on Avoidance as a Coping Mechanism.

Avoidance becomes their default way of dealing with potential conflict. It’s like their go-to tool in their emotional toolkit. Whether it’s changing the subject or physically leaving the room, they use avoidance as a shield against confrontational or uncomfortable situations.

11. They Struggle with Assertiveness.

Speaking up about their needs and boundaries is not their usual style. They might worry that being assertive will come off as aggressive or selfish. This lack of assertiveness can make it challenging for them to engage in conversations where they need to stand their ground or advocate for themselves.

12. They May Have Past Experiences Influencing Their Approach.

Past experiences can shape their current attitude toward difficult discussions. Maybe previous attempts at tough talks didn’t go well, or they’ve been part of environments where open communication wasn’t encouraged. These experiences can leave a lasting impact, making them hesitant to open up tough chats.

13. They Could Be Uncomfortable with Change.

The unknown that comes with change can be intimidating. Discussing difficult topics often leads to changes, whether in relationships, perspectives, or actions. The uncertainty of what these conversations might bring can be a good enough reason for them to avoid them, keeping them in familiar but possibly unfulfilling situations.

14. They Might Have a Habit of Internalizing Issues.

Keeping things to themselves is a common trait. Instead of addressing issues head-on, they internalize them and take things personally, believing that this will somehow make the problems less real or impactful. However, this habit of internalization often leads to increased stress and anxiety over unresolved issues.

15. They Can Be Prone to Overthinking.

Before a tough conversation even starts, they’ve often played out multiple scenarios in their head. This overthinking can create a mountain of hypothetical problems and outcomes, making the prospect of the actual conversation seem even more daunting and overwhelming.

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Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.
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