Feeling like an outsider can be a bit of a black cloud. If you experience it regularly, you’ll know how it can make you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. But, there are positive experiences related to being on the outside looking in, such as being a pro at reading people. People who feel like outsiders usually have these 15 personality traits that set them apart from the crowd.
1. They’ve built up walls around themselves.
Feeling like you don’t belong can lead to putting up emotional walls to protect yourself from further hurt. This is understandable, but remember, while these walls might offer a sense of security, they also prevent you from making genuine connections. Challenge yourself to take small steps in trusting other people little by little, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
2. Cynicism is their default mode.
When you feel like you’re constantly on the outside looking in, it’s easy to develop a cynical outlook. People who feel like outsiders might constantly point out flaws, dismiss positive experiences of others, or focus on the negative aspects of social situations. While negativity can feel justified, it pushes others away and reinforces feelings of isolation.
3. They’re introverts.
While not always the case, people who feel like outsiders are usually more introverted. They sometimes feel themselves being pushed to the corners at social gatherings because the extroverts are dominating conversations and being the life of the party. Honestly, they’d rather spend time on their own or with close friends instead of being in big groups.
4. They have strong opinions and they’re not afraid to express them.
They might be used to expressing opinions on topics that make people feel awkward or uncomfortable, but that doesn’t deter them. They’re unafraid to speak their mind when it comes to the things they believe in, even if it goes against what other people think. They hate injustice and have a strong sense of integrity, but it can be isolating at times.
5. Their life is filled with (avoidable) drama.
Sometimes, genuine problems or conflicts crop up, but some people who feel like outsiders thrive on a constant state of drama or crisis. This can manifest as exaggerated reactions to small issues, a tendency to create conflict where none exists, or constantly needing to be the center of attention. While this might fill a temporary need for excitement, it ultimately exhausts those around them and hinders real connection.
6. They have keen observation skills.
When you’re inside a social circle, it’s easy to follow the unwritten rules of the pack and lack perspective. This is where people who feel like outsiders shine. They get to see things from a distance, which gives them the ability to have more perspective on issues or interactions. Of course, this doesn’t help them feel more included or less lonely at times, so it’s a double-edged sword.
7. They feel misunderstood.
While it’s normal for everyone to feel misunderstood from time to time, people who feel like outsiders tend to feel this more regularly. It might feel like they’re always on a different plane to other people, or that people don’t really “get” them.
8. They’re non-conformist.
Outsiders like to go against the grain. They don’t follow the tried-and-tested path. Instead, they fire up their own one, which is why they’re usually such trailblazers and trendsetters. However, people who like to hew closer to what society deems “the norm” are often put off by this free spirited approach and find it a bit weird.
9. They’re highly empathetic.
While you might think that so-called lone wolves aren’t emotional, they’re usually highly empathetic. They become so affected by other people’s emotions that this can make it difficult for them to connect with them. They may keep people at arm’s length to protect their own emotional and mental peace since they become so easily overwhelmed by other people’s feelings.
10. They throw themselves a lot of pity parties.
Everyone goes through tough times and feels down occasionally, but people who often feel like outsiders sometimes become trapped in a cycle of self-pity. This might involve dwelling on past mistakes, focusing on negative situations, or viewing themselves as constant victims. While they might get sympathy for this at first, over time, this negativity can start to drain everyone around them and prevent them from seeing progress or positive change.
11. They’re fiercely independent.
Feeling like an outsider can make a person extremely self-reliant and independent. They handle their own issues, take care of themselves, and focus on living their life without seeking other people’s approval. This is empowering because they don’t rely too much on others. However, it can also be tough not to have a helping hand in the rare circumstances they could use one.
12. They’re BS detectors.
People who always seem to sniff out a lie have a knack for reading people and keeping their distance. They’re not cold, they just don’t get emotionally invested easily. This helps them see through BS and avoid getting caught up in other people’s drama.
13. They don’t go with the flow.
They refuse to settle or go along with what everyone else is doing just to keep the peace. If the crowd goes one way, they’ll go the other way. This is because they know what they want and don’t want to ignore their feelings just to fit in. While it can be difficult to choose their own path, they know it’s ultimately rewarding.
14. They’re obsessed with hobbies people don’t understand.
Some people who feel like outsiders might have hobbies or interests that bring them a lot of joy but which aren’t really understood by others. So, when they talk about collecting stamps or ghost hunting, they might feel isolated by how other people’s eyes glaze over. Finding like-minded people in their local area via meet-up groups or online communities could help alleviate the isolation they can feel at times.
15. They’re highly sensitive.
Being called “too sensitive” can cause anyone to feel like an outsider. A highly sensitive person is someone who is inspired by beauty around them, has a rich imagination, and needs to be in a quiet environment after too much sensory stimulation. Somet people might not understand this complex personality type, which can increase their feelings of not fitting in.
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