Having class isn’t about money, fancy degrees, or coming from some long line of aristocrats; it’s more about how you treat people, how you act in public, and how you carry yourself. Not only that, but the words that come out of your mouth can push people to develop certain opinions about you that are less than flattering. For instance, if you utter any of these phrases, people might think sophistication isn’t your strong suit.
1. “It is what it is.”
Okay, technically true, but this phrase oozes apathy. It also indicates a lack of willingness to think critically, care about problems, or even try to make things better. A little effort goes a long way! Maybe next time, try “That’s a bummer, but let’s see what we can do to fix it.” It shows you’re not just rolling over — you’re ready to tackle the situation head-on.
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2. Anything with “hater” in it
“You’re just a hater.” “Don’t listen to the haters.” This is how teenagers deflect valid, constructive criticism. Mature adults address feedback head-on, even if it stings a bit. Plus, overuse of “hater” makes YOU sound like the insecure one. Instead, try, “Maybe there’s some truth to that. How can I improve?” It shows you’re open to learning and growing, not afraid of a little constructive criticism.
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3. Bragging about bad behavior
Trashing hotel rooms, getting blackout drunk, or treating service staff rudely don’t make you some kind of wild legend. Really, it just makes you sound like a jerk no one wants to be around. Newsflash: acting a fool isn’t impressive, it’s embarrassing. Grow up and try treating people with respect. It’s way more attractive.
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4. “I just speak my mind.”
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Translation: “I say rude things with zero filter and excuse it as honesty.” No, being tactful is a valuable skill. There’s a difference between saying something constructive and just being mean for the sake of it. There are ways to be honest without being a jerk. Maybe try, “Hey, I noticed something you might want to consider…” It shows you care while still being upfront.
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5. Insults as nicknames
Calling your buddies (or worse, your partner) things like “idiot” or “loser,” even playfully, is a bad look. It shows a lack of respect and creates a subtly negative atmosphere. Cute nicknames? Fine. Straight-up insults? Not cool. Nicknames should be terms of endearment, not thinly veiled jabs. How about something sweet or funny instead?
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6. “I’m not like other girls/guys.”
Putting down an entire gender to make yourself feel unique comes off as desperate and oddly sexist. Celebrate your individuality without implying something’s wrong with everyone else! There are plenty of ways to be unique without bringing others down. You do you and all that, but don’t put others down in the process.
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7. Negging
If your idea of a pickup line is a thinly-veiled insult about someone’s looks or personality, hopefully run the other way quickly. This manipulative tactic reveals a whole lot of insecurity on your part and makes you come off as classless and rude. Confidence is sexy, and negging is anything but. There are a million ways to flirt that don’t involve putting someone down. Try a compliment instead! You might be surprised at how much better it works.
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8. “This offended me, so it should be banned.”
The world is full of things you won’t like. Demanding things be censored just for you shows a lack of understanding about freedom of expression (and makes you seem like a whiner). If something truly bothers you, speak out about it, but don’t try to silence everyone else. Open discourse is a good thing, even if you don’t always agree. Sophisticated thinkers can appreciate other people’s perspectives, even if they don’t align with their own.
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9. Anything that puts other people down to build yourself up
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Constantly comparing yourself favorably to someone while pointing out their flaws is a surefire sign that you’re insecure and not comfortable in your own skin. True confidence shines on its own; it doesn’t need to diminish anyone else’s light. There’s enough space for everyone to win. Be happy for other people’s successes because the don’t make yours any less impressive.
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10. Excessive crude language
The occasional swear word for emphasis is no biggie, but relying on them as your primary vocabulary just comes off as immature and unrefined. There are far more creative ways to express yourself! Plus, a barrage of curse words loses its impact and just gets boring after a while. A well-placed curse word is like hot sauce – a little goes a long way.
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11. “You’re JUST a [insert job here].”
Dismissing someone based on their job is the definition of snobbery. You might think this makes you classy, but it’s actually the opposite. Every job plays a role in society. Whether it’s a barista or a brain surgeon, treat people with basic decency. Everyone deserves respect, regardless of their paycheck or title. Plus, you never know who you might be looking down on – that barista could be the next tech billionaire.
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12. Baseless gossip
Spreading rumors and talking trash about people behind their backs is a sign of poor character. If someone gossips with you, they’ll do it to you the second you turn around — you know this because you’re guilty of this behavior yourself. Real friends talk to each other, not about each other. Plus, indulging in gossip keeps you stuck in a drama-filled world instead of focusing on positivity.
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13. Anything loudly
Talking over people, blasting music in public spaces – you don’t care if you’re disrupting everyone else’s peace. Basic consideration for those around you is a sign of maturity. Being mindful of volume doesn’t mean you can’t have fun. There are times for a raucous party and times to be chill – learn how to read the room.
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14. “You just can’t take a joke.”
This is the classic defense of bullies. If your “jokes” are consistently at someone else’s expense, that’s not humor, that’s cruelty. Being able to laugh at yourself is great, but making fun of other people is not. There’s a huge difference between good-natured ribbing between friends and punching down – learn the difference.
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15. “I don’t read.”
This is sometimes said with a weird, misplaced pride. Willfully closing yourself off to new ideas and knowledge is the opposite of sophistication. Books (or audiobooks, or even articles!) expand your mind and make you a more interesting person. It’s okay to not be into everything, but shutting yourself off from learning makes you seem narrow-minded and shallow.
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16. “Well, I’m not going to apologize!”
Everyone messes up. Owning your mistakes and sincerely apologizing shows strength and earns respect. Doubling down when you’re wrong just makes you look stubborn and childish. A heartfelt “I’m sorry” goes a LONG way. Plus, it shows you’re capable of growth and humility, which are very attractive qualities.
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17. Excuses galore
It’s ALWAYS someone else’s fault, there’s ALWAYS a reason they couldn’t deliver. Lack of accountability shows they’re not reliable and don’t take responsibility for their actions. Everyone faces challenges, but constantly making excuses instead of finding solutions is a bad look. Step up and own your part in things – people will respect you way more!
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