Respect is so central to happy, healthy, fulfilling relationships that Aretha Franklin was singing about it all the way back in 1967. Without it, there’s no way you can trust the other person to treat you with courtesy and consideration, and there’s every chance that they’ll cross your boundaries and end up treating you like crap just because they can. How do you know that’s the case?
1. They don’t value your voice.
If someone constantly talks over you or cuts you off mid-sentence, it’s a clear sign they don’t hold anything you have to say in high regard. This behavior shows that they prioritize their own thoughts and opinions over yours, which incidates a lack of respect for your perspective.
2. They don’t care about earning (or keeping) your trust.
When someone frequently breaks promises or fails to follow through on commitments they’ve made to you, it shows a disregard for your trust and expectations. This lack of reliability shows just how little they care about the impact their actions have on you. How can they respect you if they’re indifferent?
3. They invalidate your emotions.
If someone routinely dismisses or belittles your feelings and opinions, it’s a sign that they don’t respect your emotional experience or intellect. This behavior can make you feel undervalued and ignored, especially since it’s clear that your inner world really doesn’t matter to them.
4. They don’t want or need your input.
When someone makes unilateral decisions that impact you without so much as asking for your input, they’re effectively saying your preferences and needs don’t matter. This disregard for your feelings about a situation that affects your life is a clear sign of disrespect. You should get a say in how your life plays out too.
5. They don’t protect your dignity.
Publicly criticizing or humiliating you is a huge sign of disrespect. If someone doesn’t hesitate to point out your flaws or mistakes in front of other people, it shows a lack of concern for your feelings and dignity. They’re happy to tear you down in front of anyone and everyone because they don’t respect you.
6. They don’t recognize your limits.
When someone consistently ignores or crosses your boundaries, even after you’ve communicated them, it’s a sign they don’t respect your right to personal space, privacy, or autonomy. This behavior also shows a disregard for your comfort and well-being. They don’t care if you feel violated — it’s all about them.
7. They don’t acknowledge your growth.
If someone habitually brings up your past mistakes or experiences to undermine you, it shows a lack of respect for your growth and journey. This tactic is often used to keep you feeling small and to hold power over you. You’ve learned from your missteps and become a better person because of it. They just don’t respect that (or you).
8. They try to destroy your self-esteem.
When conversations with someone frequently leave you feeling inadequate or unworthy, it’s a sign that they don’t respect your sense of self-worth. This could be through subtle digs, backhanded compliments, or overt criticisms that chip away at your confidence.
9. They don’t respect your time.
Consistently showing up late to meet you or canceling plans last minute without a valid reason shows a lack of respect for your time. It sends the message that they believe their time is more valuable than yours. You managed to get there at the agreed time, so what’s their excuse?
10. They keep you out of the loop on purpose.
When someone intentionally keeps you uninformed about important things or decisions that affect you, it’s a sign they don’t respect your right to be involved. In fact, they’re probably happy that you’re not. Being left out of the loop can make you feel sidelined and unimportant, and it’s definitely not okay.
11. They don’t appreciate your uniqueness.
If they’re always comparing you to other people, whether to point out your shortcomings or even to compliment you, can be a subtle form of disrespect. It suggests that your value is only relative and not inherent, which can undermine your self-esteem. You’re your own unique self — that doesn’t have to be compared to anyone else (and it shouldn’t be).
12. They don’t care about your forgiveness when they mess up.
Refusing to apologize or admit wrongdoing is a strong indicator of disrespect. It shows a lack of willingness to mend the relationship and a disregard for your feelings and the impact of their actions. They don’t care whether or not you forgive them because they don’t value their relationship with you.
13. They don’t honor your contributions.
When someone takes credit for your efforts or ideas, it’s not just theft; it’s a blatant disrespect for your intellect and hard work. This behavior diminishes your contributions and can significantly impact your motivation and self-worth. You’ve busted your backside to get where you are — that deserves respect and even admiration!
14. They don’t respect your personal space.
If someone routinely goes through your belongings, reads your texts, or invades your privacy in other ways without permission, they’re showing a clear lack of respect for your autonomy and personal space. They’re snooping either because they’re nosy or because they suspect you of something, but that doesn’t make it right — they need to communicate directly rather than overstepping in such a gross way.
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