11 Personality Traits That Make You Really Unpopular — How Many Do You Have?

11 Personality Traits That Make You Really Unpopular — How Many Do You Have?

Obviously, popularity isn’t everything. There’s more to life than being well-liked, especially if achieving that means being someone you’re not, disrespecting yourself, or letting people walk all over you. That being said, there are certain personality traits that most people find unpalatable and will lead to you being extremely unpopular. If you relate to any of these things, chances are you tend to repel people rather than draw them to you.

1. You don’t listen to people.

Not listening effectively can make you seem disinterested or disrespectful, and that’s one of those traits that will make you unpopular. Good listeners are appreciated because they make people feel heard. If you often find yourself distracted in conversations, talking over people, or missing key points, it could impact how people perceive you. Actively listening, showing engagement, and responding thoughtfully can improve your social interactions and likability.

2. You always dominate conversations.

Dominating every conversation can be off-putting. It’s important to balance speaking and listening. If you’re always the one talking and not letting other people contribute, it can make you seem self-centered. Try to be more conscious of how much you’re speaking and encourage people to share their thoughts and opinions. Your voice can’t and shouldn’t be the only one in the room.

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4. Your humor is offensive or obnoxious.

Humor is a great way to connect with people, but it can backfire if it’s offensive. If your jokes tend to target individual people or marginalized groups, are overly sarcastic, or borderline mean, it might make you pretty unpopular. Light-hearted, inclusive humor that doesn’t single out or hurt people is usually more appreciated and can enhance your social appeal.

5. You Don’t Respect people’s Boundaries.

Respecting others’ personal and professional boundaries is crucial for healthy interactions. If you often intrude on people’s privacy, ignore their comfort levels, or overstep boundaries, it can make you unpopular. Being mindful of people’s boundaries and respecting their space and comfort zones can significantly improve how you’re perceived.

6. You’re way too negative.

Consistent negativity can be draining for those around you. If you’re always focused on the downsides, constantly complaining, or criticizing, it can push people away. Striving for a more positive outlook, focusing on solutions, and recognizing good moments can make your company more enjoyable.

7. You don’t keep your word.

Reliability is a valued trait in any relationship. If you’re known for being unreliable—breaking promises, being consistently late, or not fulfilling commitments—it can affect your popularity. Being someone people can rely on, by being on time and keeping your word, can greatly enhance your social standing.

8. You come off as arrogant and full of yourself.

There’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance. If you often come off as boastful, dismissive of other people, or superior, it might be perceived as arrogance. Showing humility, valuing people’s contributions, and maintaining a balanced self-view can make you more approachable and liked.

9. You Avoid Showing Vulnerability.

People who never show vulnerability can sometimes seem distant or unapproachable. If you always appear to have everything under control and never open up about your struggles or doubts, people might find it hard to relate to you. Showing vulnerability, in a balanced way, can make you more relatable and human. It’s about letting people see that you, too, have challenges and emotions, which can foster deeper connections.

10. You’re Quick to Criticize, Slow to Praise.

Constant criticism can be discouraging to people, while infrequent praise may make you seem unappreciative. If you find yourself often pointing out faults in other people or their work but rarely acknowledging their successes, it could impact how they view you. Striving for a more balanced approach where you offer constructive feedback and recognize people’s achievements can enhance your relationships.

11. You Struggle with Flexibility.

Being rigid in your ways or opinions is one of the traits that will make you extremely unpopular. If you’re known for being inflexible, unwilling to consider other people’s perspectives, or resistant to change, people aren’t really going to want to interact with you. Demonstrating flexibility – being open to new ideas, adaptable to changes, and willing to compromise – can make you more likable and easier to work with.

12. You never seem genuinely interested in other people.

If you don’t show genuine interest in other people, it can make you seem self-absorbed, and that’s one of the most unpopular traits out there. This includes not asking questions about people’s lives, not remembering key details they’ve shared with you, or always steering conversations back to yourself. Showing authentic interest in people – asking about their well-being, showing empathy, and engaging in their stories – can seriously improve how you are perceived.

Harper Stanley graduated from Eugene Lang College at The New School in NYC in 2006 with a degree in Media Studies and Literature and Critical Analysis. After graduating, she worked as an editorial assistant at The Atlantic before moving to the UK to work for the London Review of Books.

When she's not waxing poetic about literature, she's writing articles about dating, relationships, and other women's lifestyle topics to help make their lives better. While shocking, she really has somehow managed to avoid joining any social media apps — a fact she's slightly smug about.