9 Petty Arguments You’ll Have With Your Boyfriend Even If He’s “The One”

If you and your partner are both intelligent, opinionated people with backbones and lives of your own, you’re going to run into some bumps in the relationship road—and that’s completely OK. Here are some fights you’ve totally had (or will have) in your long-term relationship.

  1. The date night argument You know the played-out trope about women never being able to decide on a restaurant for date night? As much as it sucks to admit, this is one stereotype based on a bit of truth. I never know where I want to eat because truthfully, I want to eat everywhere. Can we just do a food tour of all my favorite restaurants, please? And hey, dudes are just as guilty as ladies in this so I refuse to take all the blame. That said, figuring out where the hell you want to eat on a Friday night can suddenly evolve into a bigger argument than you ever imagined. Don’t worry—you guys will make up over IHOP pancakes in a few hours.
  2. The drunk argument Everyone—and I mean everyone—considers themselves a “fun drunk.” If there’s one thing I know to be true, it’s that more than half of those people are terribly mistaken. The inebriated argument is had when you have one too many vodka sodas and suddenly remember the one time a few years ago when you saw him like his ex-girlfriend’s profile picture. These drunk arguments are completely baseless and trivial more often than not—and an instant regret the next morning.
  3. The holiday argument Everyone’s favorite time of year, right? Not if you have to decide which of your families gets the honor of your presence at Christmas dinner. The holiday argument is the motherlode of all arguments, and it can get personal quickly. As much as you love your S.O. and his family, you find yourself listing off all the reasons your family is better at Christmas. I mean, is Christmas even a thing you can be good at? Before your holiday argument turns into a full-on battle royale, remember that there are more Christmases to come and keep your snarky comments to yourself.
  4. The “Who’s that bitch?” argument  Every woman know this one by heart because it’s bound to happen in every relationship—it’s only a matter of time. It could come in the form of a clingy ex-girlfriend who insists on texting him constantly. Maybe it’s an old college flame who hearts every. single. one. of your guy’s Facebook pictures—excluding the ones with you, of course. Hey, if you’re feeling extra paranoid, the “bitch” in question could be an innocent bystander who simply glanced your partner’s direction for a moment too long.
  5. The covers argument I’m a complete cover hog, but I have a difficult time admitting my guilt to my boyfriend, who has accused me of stealing every ounce of warmth from the bed since the beginning of our relationship. He’s usually more than understanding, even with my adamant denial of any wrongdoing. However, on especially cold mornings, seeing me wrapped in a cover cocoon made of his blankets can make him a little grumpy. Of course, me denying it ever happened only escalates matters. Ta-da—we have ourselves an old fashioned covers argument. Take it from me and own up to your cover stealing ways now. I’ve gone too far to come back.
  6. The dirty dishes argument If you’ve ever lived with a partner, this argument was likely a household staple. How hard is it to put your dirty dish in the dishwasher when you’re finished eating? Even if you don’t have a dishwasher, washing a single dish takes a total of maybe three minutes. Apparently, washing dishes is easier said than done for some people. To quote Liz Lemon, “I want someone who will actually empty the dishwasher instead of just taking out forks as needed like I do.” I hear you, girl.
  7. The mind reader argument “I’m not a mind reader!” No duh, but I wish you were. Then you’d know I don’t want your misogynistic college pal, Brad, coming over to our place while my girlfriends are visiting. If you could read my mind, you’d probably be clued into the fact that I don’t want front row tickets to your favorite team’s game for my birthday. Alas, my many, many hints have fallen upon deaf ears, and when I blatantly tell you outright that, you know, Brad’s a douche and I’ve never liked him, you come back with, “I’m not a mind reader!” OBVIOUSLY. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about.
  8. The “do you like my friends?” argument I speak from personal experience when I say that, while he probably likes most of your friends, there’s one friend of yours he’d be OK with never hanging out with again. You probably know the friend I’m talking about—you can spot a dropping hint from a mile away. However, because you believe in full disclosure, you have to ask. Because he loves you and wants to be honest, he tells the truth.  And just like that, this argument is born.
  9. The period argument This argument can be alternatively titled as “I’m just in a terrible mood today.” Every woman knows the feeling of waking up with killer cramps, dragging herself to work, forgetting her tampons at home, dealing with Carol from accounting, fighting traffic to get back home, noticing one itty bitty something that’s out of place… and completely losing her cool. It’s just a normal day—if you don’t count the fact that you’re bleeding from your vagina and will be for the next 5 to 7 days, all because you didn’t get pregnant this month and angered your uterus. The best thing you can do? Breathe, kick back, and talk your SO into giving you a foot rub and ordering takeout. Life’s not so bad with a guy like this to stick it out with you.
Blaire is a writer, improviser, and human being. She loves scalding hot bubble baths and long talks with her cat.