I’m Pretty Sure That The Guy I Marry Will Cheat On Me & I’m Okay With That

Cheating has ruined countless relationships and it sucks. Hearts, dreams, and lots of kitchenware end up being broken once one of the two partners strays. But here’s the thing—cheating is so horrible because we aren’t realistic about it. Monogamy has long been touted as the path to follow, but is it realistic? I know that whoever I marry will most likely end up cheating on me and I’m okay with it. Here’s why:

  1. I can’t give my partner everything. Let’s be real—my partner and I may be a great match, but I’ll never fulfill 100% of his needs. Yes, I’m smart, good-looking and driven, but I lack coquettishness, I criticize too much and I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut. Although he may love me for all of these things at first, he’ll eventually want a more humble, quiet girl. I can’t give him that and I understand if cheating lets him have it. As long as he comes back to me at the end of the day, we can continue our relationship. I’d rather him to that than have to change who I am.
  2. Sex is not a motivator for me. Sure, I like sex but I’m often too focused on other things like work and bettering myself. It’s not cool to deny someone’s natural needs, so if he wants to get laid, cheating is an option. Sex is meant to be enjoyed, so when I’m not in the mood, my guy doesn’t have to be deprived. He can go out and find it elsewhere. I understand that it’s only physical.
  3. I’d rather him cheat than let him call the shots. Both my therapist and salsa teacher have been trying to convince me to let a man lead me without success. I instinctively take charge in dancing and in my relationships. Roleplay is ridiculous to me. I don’t want to be the lesser one in the relationship or be considered more emotional just because I’m a woman. I’ll lead if I want to. If my guy needs to tickle his masculinity by calling the shots on a girl, he can find another one to satisfy that need.
  4. Feelings and sex are two separate things. The problem with cheating is that people confuse sex with feelings. I can be madly in love with someone but have sex with another person. That doesn’t make me feel less passionately about the one I love. We should start accepting sex for what it is—a physical need. Our feelings are a level above sex, so cheating shouldn’t have an effect.
  5. Cheating doesn’t intimidate me. I know what I’m worth and if my guy strays every now and again, I wouldn’t take it personally. I won’t get offended if he parties too much and decided to have sex with a stranger. After all, he chose to commit to me and I’m already confident enough in myself. If his fling continues but doesn’t harm our relationship, I’m willing to let him have it. Cheating can be an empowering experience.
  6. We’ll get bored of each other, and that’s okay. It’s normal for partners to get bored of each other. Hell, I even get bored if I eat the same meal three days in a row. Cheating is a way to explore something different. It’s like having a bite of chocolate cake when you’ve been eating crackers for a while. It feels exciting and new. It can improve the overall excitement in our relationship.
  7. Marriage isn’t always based on sexual attraction. I’m looking for a solid partner, not a sex toy. This is why I’d pick my husband based on our common interests and goals. The truth is that sex may not be great. Neither his nor my libido has to suffer. We can keep our marriage and use cheating as a way to get everything we want. Such an agreement will last much longer than a relationship based on lust.
  8. Monogamy is making us miserable. Monogamy is not only overrated, it goes against our human nature. We live one life and it makes no sense to commit to seeing the same person naked for 50 years. We should be able to experience sex with different people at different stages of our lives. That isn’t to say that when we find our soulmate we should let them go. No, we should marry them, but differentiate wanting their company from wanting someone else’s sex. Giving up monogamy can make you happier.
  9. I’d rather him be cheating than going to swinger parties. Many couples seek the thrill of sex with new people but feel terrible about cheating. So what do they do? They go to swinger parties or bring in others for a threesome. I’ve had my fair share of threesomes and never liked them. If he goes out cheating, I can live with that. Having a stranger in my bed and in my marriage while I’m being expected to participate, on the other hand, is ridiculous.
  10. I’ll most likely cheat too. Based on all of the above, I’m pretty sure that I’ll go looking for sex out of my marriage too. That is precisely because I have no problem honoring my commitments but understand fully that sex and marriage are two different things. My husband would be able to count on me at all times, but if I decide to have a fling with a stranger, I will not feel bad about cheating,
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.