You finally got over your anger and rejection over the guy who ghosted you… and then he throws a curve ball your way by coming back to life and texting you weeks or months after he went AWOL. The text is likely to read, “Hey” or “Been thinking of you.” WTF? Here’s what’s really going on with him and why you shouldn’t bother responding:
He’s broken up with someone.
Or he got dumped. Either way, he figures that since he always got a nice ego stroke from you as well as a bit of fun, you’re the perfect candidate to boost his mood. So he’ll chat with you via text for a few hours and think nothing of it. Meanwhile, you’re wracking your brain wondering what it all means. Honestly, it means nada.
He wants to make a huge commitment — with someone else.
Before taking the next big step in his current relationship, the guy might have been hit by a wave of nostalgia. Perhaps you’re the big “What if?” of his relationship history and he’s missing you even though he’s getting engaged tomorrow. Missing you? Really? Of course he’s missing you – he’s the one who didn’t have the guts to ask you out and see what could happen. Any missed opportunities he’s crying crocodile tears over are his own doing. Jerk.
This is probably the most likely scenario for his spontaneous return. The guy is spending quality time with Netflix, perhaps down with a bad case of flu on a Saturday night, when he sees your name on his contacts list. He decides to have a distraction from how crummy he’s feeling and maybe even a bit of sexting. That’s sure to perk him up. Player alert! Any guy who wants to sext after pulling a disappearing act on you needs to get blocked.
He wants no strings attached fun.
If he texts you late at night and you respond, he might want more than a sexting session. He’ll probably launch into, “Wanna come over now?” Obviously the dude thinks he can just pop in and score a booty call since you were so into him. How convenient. Tell him you’ll be there in 10 minutes and then don’t pitch and never answer his texts again.
He’s bored AF.
He’s sitting at the airport waiting for his delayed flight or he’s stuck in nightmarish traffic, so he fires off a text to you in the hope that conversation will make the time go faster. You’ll see this by how his texts might quickly become one-word answers as though he’s making minimal effort. Because he is. He doesn’t really want a full-blown convo — he just needs a casual chat with no strings before his attention is pulled elsewhere. You can bet that he’ll disappear again once his flight gets called.
He’s fishing for goss.
Sometimes guys will just check in with you every now and then to see what’s happening with you. They’ll ask you lots of questions to get a bit of gossip because they haven’t chatted with you in a while and you unfriended them on Facebook so they can’t read the juicy news you’ve been posting. The funny thing is that they might not even answer their own questions. This isn’t a sharing session, so don’t be mistaken — it’s all one-sided for his own entertainment purposes.
He’s keeping his options open.
The fact that he disappeared shows that he wasn’t interested enough to stick around, but that doesn’t mean he’s not keen on keeping his dating options open. I mean really, if he ghosted you, why else would he still have your number? By popping in and saying hi, he’s really just testing the waters to see if you’re still interested. It’s a nice ego boost for him to know that you’re available if he really wants you – which he never does.
He wants a real shot with you.
OK, so there’s always the chance, however tiny, that he regrets ghosting you and wants to make something work between you. If this is the case though, his actions will show it. He’ll apologize to you and explain what had happened and why he should deserve a second chance. But come on, is there ever a good enough reason for him running off like that? You don’t need to waste any more time or texts on an emotionally-challenged man who’ll probably just do it again.
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