If You Really Want Intimacy, Skip The Sex & Do These 13 Things Instead

Sex is often thought of as the most intimate thing you can do with someone, but there are plenty of other things you can do with your partner that will increase your bond just as much. Keep your clothes on and get closer to your partner by doing these things:

  1. Have a deep conversation. It’s not just chatting or texting that matters to keep you connected, but those real heart-to-heart discussion. These are where your emotions, thoughts, dreams, desires and more are splashed onto the canvas of your relationship. You share personal and important parts of yourself, and the result is that you see each other more closely than before.
  2. Go for a walk and hold hands. Doesn’t it call to mind early days of dating when you got a thrill just by innocently touching each other? You might scoff at the idea of hand-holding being intimate, but it’s such a simple act that can help recharge some of the chemistry between you two.
  3. Give each other a massage. Sometimes massage is a precursor to sex, but it doesn’t have to be. This type of touch allows you to learn more about each other’s bodies through touch. It’s a great way to pamper each other and really get to know each other a bit more intimately without speaking a single word.
  4. Slow dance. You might dance together at the club, but put some music on that allows you to wrap your arms around each other and just be in the moment. It’s a perfect way to get lost in the music and your love for each other.
  5. Call each other pet names. These should be unique that mean something to both of you. Other people might not know WTF these names are about, but that makes them even more special because they’re about your private bond.
  6. Write love lettersYou might send each other romantic texts now and then, but they’re usually short and likely filled with emojis. In other words, they’re not as intimate as they should be. That’s where good old-fashioned letters come in. The act of sitting down and pouring your heart out to the person you love is intimate AF.
  7. Cuddle. Not just after sex, but as the main event. Being held by your partner makes you feel safe and loved. Plus, there’s something really intimate about allowing yourself to be held, which isn’t always easy if you have trust issues or fear being vulnerable.
  8. Read to each other. Curl up together and read passages to each other from your favorite books. This is a simple pleasure that instantly boosts closeness, especially when you’re sharing stories that are close to your heart.
  9. Do something new. Whether it’s baking a cake or going bungee-jumping, try a new activity together. It not only brings new energy to your relationship, but also makes you bond because you’re exploring new territory together.
  10. Kiss properly. When last did you actually kiss each other as though you were kissing for the first time, and for longer than two minutes? Kissing shouldn’t only be part of foreplay. It’s highly intimate, and when you spend time doing it with care instead of rushing through it, it can really make you feel connected and loved.
  11. Take a bath together. Everyone always goes on about showering together, but there’s something much more intimate about bathing with your partner. You get to relax, chat about your day, and wash each other. It’s so sexy and romantic.
  12. Give each other a late-night call. Late-night contact from a man usually points to one thing: he’s horny and hopes to get laid. But what’s much more intimate than that is when you call each other late at night just to hear each other’s voices at the end of the day. There’s something really romantic about lying in the dark listening to each other and sharing a laugh over something silly.
  13. Sleep together. Instead of having sex and then falling asleep with your partner, head to bed for sleep without the sex. Yes, really. It’s one of the most vulnerable positions to be in, which makes it a great intimate activity if you want to boost your bond.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.