Sometimes when you really like a guy, you end up settling for whatever role he’ll give you, including his side chick. In your eyes, he’ll see the light eventually and break up with his girlfriend, right? Well, that’s not really true. Here’s why you should never settle for the role of side chick.
You deserve to be in a real relationship if you want to be.
I don’t care who this guy is. He could be rich and famous or the guy you’ve been crushing on since middle school. If you want something he doesn’t, you’re automatically incompatible. You might seem happy to be in his rotation now, but you’ll never really be fulfilled.
This guy isn’t going to do any of the boyfriend duties.
When you’re officially with someone, you immediately have a date to events like your cousin’s wedding and the movies over the weekend. Without the title, this guy doesn’t owe you anything. Even worse, you may feel weird asking someone else to go with you since you’ll feel like you’re cheating. (You’re not, by the way.)
Being a side chick will make you insecure.
If this guy has actual girlfriends filtering in and out, you’ll keep wondering what they have that you don’t. It’s bound to make anyone jealous. Remember, unless these other girls do something openly to make you feel bad about yourself, they’re not the enemy. They’re just into this guy’s charm the same way you are. And if they’re actively in a relationship with him and he keeps saying they’ll break up soon, just know he’s lying to you. He’s sleeping with at least two girls right now, why would he change that?
You can’t flaunt your relationship on social media.
Maybe you can post a group picture or two, but cute selfies are pretty much off-limits in a side chick arrangement. If he’s dating someone else, they’ll get very suspicious (as they should) if the two of you are posting somewhat intimate photos online of each other.
What you’re doing is pretty cruel.
Sometimes a side chick is a girl who a guy seeks out when he’s in-between actual relationships. That’s one thing. But way more often, he’s married or in a committed relationship and is using you to cheat. That means that you’re in a position in which you’re actively hurting someone else. Regardless of the horrible things you’ve heard about their significant other, cheating is cheating.
If you’re found out, you’ll get a lot of the blame.
Really, he should be the one people blame—he’s the one who agreed to be in a committed relationship with someone else—but you’ll also get a few bad words tossed your way. Yeah, you should have known better than to get into a relationship with a taken man, but do you really need this extra pressure in your life? There are so many people out there who’d have no problem committing to you—and just you.
He doesn’t love you the way he says he does.
If he has dropped the L-bomb, just know it was a method in order for you to agree to this arrangement. If the two of you were both madly in love with each other, he’d have no problem with properly ditching his other relationship and making it official. He’s not. Ever wonder why? It’s because he can see a “right now” with you, but he can’t see a future with you.
Side chicks are set up to fail.
Think about it. You don’t get the security of the relationship, you’re easy to blame, and you’re going to be left more alone than ever when things eventually fizzle—and trust me, they will. Either he’ll find a new side chick who’s more exciting or his girlfriend or wife will uncover the truth and try to ruin your life. Any pleasure you’re getting out of this situation will be short-lived.
You deserve a lot more respect than this.
Stop selling yourself short. You shouldn’t have to go on secret dates or spend your time out worrying whether or not a mutual acquaintance will spot you with someone else’s guy. These are things you shouldn’t even have to deal with. Break things off now before they get too messy and go find someone who’s looking for the same things you are, namely exclusivity.
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