10 Reasons People Don’t Listen To You (And How To Get Them To)

10 Reasons People Don’t Listen To You (And How To Get Them To)

There’s nothing more frustrating or demoralizing than realizing that people don’t listen to you. You have a point to make and things to say, but it seems like every time you speak, it falls on deaf ears. If you feel unheard and chronically ignored when you’re trying to void your thoughts and opinions, here’s how to change things (and why it happens in the first place).

1. You’re Not Making Your Point Clearly.

If people don’t listen to you, it could be because you like to spin a yarn and don’t know how to get to the crux of the story quickly enough. If you fill your stories with extraneous details or make what should be a short story an epic tale, people might tune out and stop listening, believing that you don’t have much of anything important to say. Instead of dragging it out, try to get to the point more quickly.

2. You have a monotonous tone.

It’s not necessarily your fault, but a monotonous voice can make even the most interesting topic sound boring. If your voice lacks variation in tone or pitch, people might lose interest or try to exit the convo ASAP. To keep people engaged, try to vary your tone, speed, and volume as you speak as much as possible. A bit of vocal variety can help emphasize important points and keep people engaged with what you’re saying.

3. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.

Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks. Just click here.

4. You’re Not Engaging Your Audience.

Engagement is key to effective communication and getting people to listen to you. If you’re not making eye contact, asking questions, or gauging the audience’s reactions, they might tune out. Try to involve people in the conversation. Make eye contact, ask for their opinions, and respond to their cues. Engagement is a two-way street; show your audience that their presence and participation are important to you. This is true for both professional and personal conversations, so keep this in mind.

5. You do a whole lot of talking and not much listening.

If you dominate conversations without giving other people a chance to speak, it’s no wonder they don’t listen to you anymore. Communication is a two-way process, and being a bad listener is a major social faux pas. Show that you value others’ input by actively listening and giving them space to express their thoughts. When people feel heard, they’re more likely to reciprocate and listen to what you have to say.

6. You Lack Confidence.

Lack of confidence in your voice and demeanor can make it hard for people to listen to you. If you seem unsure about what you’re saying, people are going to end up doubting your credibility even if you seriously know your stuff. Work on building your confidence by practicing your speech and familiarizing yourself with the topic. Stand tall, make eye contact, and speak with assurance. Confidence can make a big difference in how your message is received.

7. Your Body Language Is Off-Putting.

Non-verbal cues play a huge role in communication. If your body language is closed off or aggressive, it can make people resistant to your message. Be mindful of your gestures, facial expressions, and posture. Open, inviting body language can make people way more receptive to what you have to say. This means maintaining eye contact, nodding to show understanding, and using hand gestures to emphasize points.

8. You don’t get on people’s level.

Not tailoring your message to your audience will lead to people not listening to you. If you’re talking to someone who doesn’t know anything about the topic at hand, using complex terms or tidbits that only experts would be familiar with, they’re going to tune out from annoyance and confusion. Instead, make sure you’re getting on people’s level and speaking to them in an accessible way.

9. You’re Not Emotionally Connecting.

Emotional connection can be a powerful tool in communication. If you’re dispassionate in your speech and what you say lacks any kind of personal touch, it might fail to resonate with people. Share personal stories or examples that relate to your message. An emotional connection can make you seem more accessible and relatable, and it’ll also make people more interested in hearing you out.

10. You forget how powerful personal stories can be.

Stories are an effective way to grab attention and convey messages, especially when trying to connect in a professional setting. If your communication is all facts and no narratives, it might not be as engaging. Incorporate stories or anecdotes that illustrate your points to make your message more interesting and easier for people to relate to and remember.

11. You’re Not Reflecting On Your Communication Style.

If you don’t regularly assess your communication style and adjust accordingly, you can’t complain when people don’t listen to you. Regularly take time to reflect on the way ou speak to people and how they respond to you. Ask for feedback and be open to making changes. Adapting your style to be more effective can make a big difference in how your messages (and you) are received.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.