10 Relationship Anxieties You Experience After Being Single For A Long Time

You thought you were going to be forever single, then love entered your life. While that’s great, it can also be really scary. If you’ve been single for a long time, getting back into the swing of a relationship can feel stressful. Here are 10 relationship anxieties you’re likely experiencing and what to do about them.

  1. You fear getting hurt again. Yes, it can happen, but so what if it does? You’ve dealt with breakups and heartache before and you were fine. You enjoyed your single life and it’s always there waiting for you again if your heart gets broken. There’s really nothing to fear because you’ll be okay no matter what. As a forever single, you’ve learned to have your own back.
  2. You’re afraid you’ll mess it up. If you were the reason why your last relationship ended, you might worry you haven’t changed and instead will repeat the same mistakes that will tank this relationship. Take a deep breath. Maybe those mistakes weren’t actually mistakes because they brought you to where you’re meant to be. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Have faith that you’ve grown and if you haven’t, then now’s the time to work on yourself. Maybe you should do that before heading out into the dating game again.
  3. You worry you’ll lose yourself. When love marches into your life, it’s scary because you worry it will become your main priority. What will happen to you and all the things in your life? The important thing is to maintain some balance between all the areas of your life so that your partner doesn’t take over. Stick to a schedule for yourself so that you don’t neglect other things that make you happy.
  4. You fear getting into something bad. You might have dated some toxic people in the past and they’ve left some emotional scars. It’s easy to fear a new relationship will become just like those previous ones, but just think of how much you’ve learned from those relationships. You’ll now be able to pick up on red flags that someone’s toxic so you don’t waste your love and time on the wrong people.
  5. You worry that you’ll become vulnerable. Ah, there’s nothing more terrifying than putting your heart on the line and showing people what you truly feel for them. But it’s actually rewarding because it teaches you so much about yourself.
  6. You worry you’ll lose your independence. You love being able to solve your own problems without having to call anyone, but now that someone’s entered your life, they’ll probably want to be there to help and support you. That’s fine. It doesn’t mean you can’t be independent. You just need to find someone who loves your independent streak and won’t try to erase it.
  7. You dread changing who you are. Hey, who said you had to? While it’s easy to get wrapped up in a new relationship and want to be loved, this doesn’t mean that you need to change what makes you amazing. Yes, be open to compromise and meeting each other halfway, but never compromise who you are.
  8. You worry that you’ve forgotten how to be someone’s girlfriend. Re-entering the dating game as a forever single can feel like you’re expected to speak a language you haven’t practiced since childhood. Eek. But the truth is, it’s like riding a bike. If you do your own thing and take your time to let the relationship progress instead of rushing into it, you’ll be able to find your rhythm.
  9. You’re worried you’ll lose your freedom. When you were single, you could take off to somewhere exotic whenever you felt it. Ditto for lying in bed all day devouring books. Now your spare time won’t always be yours because you’ll have to do things with your partner. The important thing is to ensure your partner knows that you need a certain amount of space and be clear about this from the beginning.
  10. You’re worried about the rules. You know those dating rules? Well, they’ve changed, and it’s about time. The best thing you can do as a single woman entering the dating game after a long period of time is to burn the dating book and do your own thing. It’s your life so you make the rules.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.