10 Rules To Help You See Through A Guy’s BS & Avoid Wasting Your Time

We’ve all been let down by a guy, thinking that he wants something serious when the whole time he was just playing us for a fool. It sucks, and a lot of the time we don’t even see it coming. Luckily, there are ways to outsmart even the keenest of BS’ers. Here’s how to do it:

  1. Judge him by his actions, not his words. Sure, he might tell you that he’s in love with you or that he can’t wait to travel to Rome together or that he can’t imagine being with anyone else but you — but it’s all just talk unless he actually follows through with these things. If he says that he “loves spending time with you,” take a second and notice whether his actions reflect that. Does he seem consistently happy when he’s with you or is his attention wavering? You know how the old saying goes — actions speak louder than words, and his actions are the only thing that will show you whether or not he’s really into you.
  2. Trust your gut. Have you ever gotten the feeling that the guy you’re seeing is BS’ing you? Well, you’re probably right. The deep, gut reaction you get that something’s a little bit off is absolutely accurate. Your brain might be telling you that he seems like a good guy, but your gut will never lie to you. Remember that.
  3. Take into account how much TIME he actually wants to spend with you. In order to tell whether a guy is worth your time or not, find out if you’re worth his time. Is he spending a good chunk of his free time with you? Is he working around your schedule when he can? Is he planning your dates well in advance? If he isn’t doing these things, then you aren’t as valuable to him as you think you are and he’s definitely not worth spending your time on.
  4. Don’t take anything he says at face value. It’s easy for endorphins to cloud your judgment, especially when things seem to be going well and moving really fast. It’s crucial to be a little skeptical of him, especially in the beginning and ESPECIALLY if you haven’t had sex yet. He might be saying things just so you’ll sleep with him, and if you believe them, you’re just going to end up hurt and regretting you ever met him.
  5. Watch his language. What kinds of words does he use with you? Are the things coming out of his mouth almost too good to be true? You guessed it — that’s because they are! He might seem a little too romantic or talk too much about sex. If he’s extreme in his use of language, take that as a warning that you’re just a game to him. He doesn’t care if he messes it up because he’s not planning on staying for long anyway.
  6. Ask him questions about his past. Get some information out of him, it can tell you a lot about what kind of guy he is and where he’s at in life. A lot of the time, a guy’s just in a phase where he doesn’t want a relationship but will still play you just because he wants easy sex. Find out about his last relationship, if there even was one, and determine whether or not he seems ready to be with you.
  7. See what happens when you take away sex. This is a big one. We all know that a huge chunk of the male population only wants to get laid. They’ll act like they want something more, but after you give in to their advances, they’re like, “Sayonara, sucker!” and move on to the next girl. See what happens when you tell him that you’re not ready to have sex with him yet. If he’s okay with it, then you know you’ve got someone good who actually likes you. If he runs, then you know he was a BS’er.
  8. Take his compliments with a grain of salt. In the early stages, he’ll say anything to get you to like him. While you can’t really argue that you’re not a gorgeous queen, he might be using these compliments to butter you up so he can get in your pants. I know it’s awful to think, but guys do this all the time and if he’s being extra nice to you, accept the compliment, but meet him with a bit of suspicion.
  9. Ask yourself if he’s being real. Us humans can tell right away when someone is being fake. Use your intuition for this one. If you can tell that he’s putting on a show or his stories don’t seem to be lining up or he’s showing all the tell-tale signs of lying, he’s not being sincere with you.
  10. How much is he controlling? Do you feel like you’re a pawn in his game? Is it always HIS house you go to? Do you always work around HIS schedule? Is HE the one deciding what you do on your dates? This isn’t a guy who wants an equal partnership — this is a guy who doesn’t want to compromise his freedom for a girl, and you don’t have time for that kinda BS.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.