We’re all pretty familiar with the Alpha Male mentality. We’ve heard how it’s natural for wolves to have ranks of males, and how all the female wolves will want a pack leader. As popular as this macho mentality has become, the fact is that it’s still total garbage — here’s why:
- Alpha males don’t even really exist in wolf society. This is something that most people don’t realize about the idea of the Alpha Male. Actual wolf experts have already debunked this idea years ago. This means that the entire idea of being the “head wolf” doesn’t actually even have its roots in fact!
- Most of the people who are talking about “Beta Males” and being “alpha” don’t even get laid. This is what happens when you end up with a bunch of men who have the mentality of angsty teenage virgins on the Internet. This ends up with guys who act like douchebags to outdo each other, and girls who generally get annoyed with their rude behavior. In other words, following most “Alpha Male” ideals will get women to avoid you more than like you.
- Nothing is black and white. Alphas are supposed to be the tough, unyielding bad boys that all women are “supposed” to want, while betas are thought of as submissive guys who women settle for after they decide that they want a walking wallet. When was the last time that you’ve ever seen a group of men actually perfectly fall into one category or the other? Everyone is a three dimensional person, and masculinity has a huge spectrum. Grouping men into one of two categories just doesn’t work.
- It’s really just a crutch for guys who feel like they’re entitled to a girlfriend. Sure, some women will date for money and only money, but the truth is that the Alpha Male myth is generally not correct. Women, just like men, want a real connection, with real intimacy and real love. Guys who believe in the Alpha Male myth often can’t believe that the girl would like that guy over them. As a result, they cite the Alpha Male myth about why they still haven’t gotten a long term girlfriend.
- Jerks aren’t sexy. Say what you will, but aggressive behavior isn’t considered sexy by most women. In fact, if a guy’s being controlling as a way to “show off his Alpha stuff,” most women will run for the hills. Dominance isn’t aggression, nor is domineering behavior the kind of dominance women find attractive.
- Bad boy types, such as the ones in the Alpha Male myth, have short-term luck at best. Studies have shown that women almost never consider them to be boyfriend material. After all, who wants to bring a felon home to mom? If a girl is falling for stereotypical aggressive, domineering behavior, chances are high that she isn’t all that stable. Therefore, it’s unlikely that guys will get the “good girls” they keep looking for if they follow the Alpha logic.
- The myth feeds into misogyny, and that in turn wrecks any relationship or fling a guy could want to have. The bottom line is that the entire mythos of the Alpha Male is not one that is healthy for anyone involved. It makes guys act like jerks, and also reduces women to two-dimensional beings. We aren’t dating simulations, nor are the type of women who are attracted to jerks the kind of women men want to date. As a result, it ends up poisoning the way men think about women, and that in turn ruins the chances of men actually having a happy relationship of any sort.
