13 Signs The Guy You’re Dating Has ADDD: Attention Deficit Dating Disorder

He seemed like a great catch at first but the more you get to know him, the more you realize the guy can’t seem to give you his full attention or make you a priority in his life even though he keeps dating you. WTF? He might have Attention Deficit Dating Disorder—here are 13 signs to look out for.

  1. He drools over other women. It’s fine for him to check out that pretty redhead who just walked into the club (hey, he’s human), but if you’re trying to tell him about your day and all he can do is watch other women like he’s undressing them with his eyes, the guy’s a player and disrespectful AF.
  2. He keeps things casual. He can’t give you his attention? Maybe that’s because he’s giving it to loads of other women. If he says he wants to keep things with you casual (how convenient), he’s got to GTFO. If he can’t put a relationship label on it, he doesn’t deserve to have it. Period!
  3. He calls when you least expect it. Like at two in the morning when you were having amazing beauty sleep, or after days of not returning your calls or answering your texts. And not only that, but he wants to see you RIGHT NOW. He’s impulsive and lives in the moment. That’s a problem because things are always on his terms.
  4. He never plans ahead. Mr. Spontaneous is really just Mr. I Don’t Think About The Future With You. Sorry, but it’s true. If he can’t think further than an hour into the future, it’s a sign that he’s not actually serious about dating you. You’re just a distraction for now or a booty call.
  5. He phubs you. Sometimes you just want to pick up his phone and throw it through the nearest window. He’s always checking his emails and texts when you’re on dates so that you actually just stop talking to him because it’s impossible to have a conversation. He’s so rude!
  6. He forgets important details. Yes, you told him that you were busy on Sunday but he swears you didn’t. You told him that it’s your parents anniversary so you’re going out of town to be with them this weekend, but again, he wasn’t listening. Ugh. He treats you like you’re invisible.
  7. It’s all about him. He loves talking about himself (and sadly, you remember what he says, so it would be nice if he returned the favor). He’s all about what he wants to do and where he wants to go. It sometimes feels like he’s not sharing experiences with you so much as just letting you tag along.
  8. He blanks out when you talk to him. Often, it feels like he’s about to pass out during conversation. How can someone look that zoned out? Is the dude on drugs or something?
  9. He’s a busybody. You might call him hyperactive or just energetic. Meanwhile, the guy always has to do loads of activities on your dates. He can never just chill out in a coffee shop or at his apartment. He’s easily bored, but it feels like he’s bored of you.
  10. He’s always in a rush to go somewhere else. The same ants in his pants urge means that your dates are never longer than an hour or so. He always has to go to some important meeting or to help his friend move to a new apartment. Sometimes he even rushes off after sex. It’s like you’re dating a guy who’s in “The Amazing Race” or something. It’s impossible to keep up with him.
  11. He gets distracted during sex. He’s the guy who’ll check his phone when it beeps during sex, glance at the clock, or check the score of the football on TV in the background. He’s never actually present. What a loser. If he can’t focus on you during sex, he’s just in it for his own pleasure.
  12. He’s inconsistent. One day, he’ll be in contact and want to see you ASAP. The next, he’ll disappear or just seem like he’s bored around you. WTF? He swings from being interested to looking like he doesn’t give a damn. What’s up with this guy?
  13. He’s a commitment-phobe. He’s not paying attention because he’s the type of guy who likes to jump from one woman to the next. In fact, he might be a commitment-phobe, which is why he’s always on the move. Good luck getting him to settle down because he’s not looking for anything serious. He just wants to have fun for as long as you’re down for it, and then move on. What a loser! Walk away—that’ll get his attention. But sadly for him, it’ll be too damn late.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.