Signs He Never Loved You And How To Get Over it

There’s nothing more brutal than realizing a guy you invested time, energy, and so much of your heart into didn’t really give a damn about you. You want to believe that he did care, and maybe part of him did a bit, but if any of these things are true about your relationship, the brutal truth is that his feelings for you were never that serious. Here are some signs he never loved you at all. They’re painful to admit, but if you want to move on, you’ll have to face the facts.

  1. He had a new girlfriend within a few days of your breakup. Everyone gets over breakups in their own time, and there’s no one schedule that’s right. However, if you only broke up a few weeks or even a few days ago and your ex has moved on to someone else, that’s one of the biggest signs that he never loved you. If he did, he’d be heartbroken and uninterested in anyone else at the moment. There’s also the possibility that she was already in the picture before your relationship even ended…
  2. He didn’t seem all that cut up about the breakup. Not only did he move on quickly, but he couldn’t even bring himself to pretend to be upset about the end of your relationship. In fact, he was likely cold and detached, telling you with a straight face that it was over (or taking the news without much of a reaction). If he cared, he’d be upset. That true even if he knew ending things was for the best.
  3. He treated you like his mother rather than his partner. If your ex-boyfriend treated you more like the hired help than he did his girlfriend, consider that one of the most glaring signs that he never loved you. If he did, he would have worked to ensure you had an equal partnership rather than relying on you to fulfill all the duties his mother used to do. You were his partner, not his butler or his parent.
  4. He never made you a priority in his life. When you’re in a relationship with someone, they should be high on your list of priorities. However, that wasn’t the case for him. It seemed like absolutely everything came before you – his job, his friends, his dog, his video games, his love of pizza… For some reason, you just never really factored in. He fit you in when there was nothing else taking his attention rather than ensuring you were prioritized.
  5. He always made plans without considering you. It’s safe to say he never loved you if he made plans, whether for next weekend or three years in the future, without so much as considering how they would affect you or how you would feel about them. Maybe he accepted a job in another city or decided to go on a two-week vacation with the boys, all without running it by you first. It’s not that you would have stopped him, but one of the biggest signs of disrespect is a partner who totally does whatever he wants without so much as thinking of you.
  6. He was only ever affectionate during sex. If he only ever kissed you or held you close while you were having sex or in the moments leading up to it, he couldn’t make his feelings (or lack thereof) more clear. Intimacy isn’t just about sex – it’s about physical and emotional closeness outside the bedroom too.
  7. He never put in the same amount of effort, if any. You put a lot of effort into your relationship and your ex-boyfriend, trying to make sure he was happy, well cared for, and loved. Sadly, he didn’t put in as much effort… or any effort at all. That’s because he never loved you, as sad as that is to realize and accept.
  8. He never compromised – it was his way or the highway. Part of being in a loving, mutually respectful relationship is the willingness to compromise. You can’t always have your own way and you shouldn’t want to. If your ex-boyfriend always insisted on doing things his way and threw a fit or threatened to break up with you if you pushed back, the signs couldn’t be clearer that he never loved you.
  9. He never included you in his life outside your relationship. Maybe you were together for a few months, or maybe it was a few years. Either way, you were never really part of his circle. It was always the two of you and the rest of his life, and ne’er the twain shall meet. This is one of the biggest signs he never loved you. If he did, he’d be enthusiastic about incorporating you into every aspect of his life.

Realizing that someone you dated for a while didn’t care for you as much as or the way you deserved can be overwhelming, but don’t let it get you. Instead, cultivate your own self-love and focus on ensuring that when you love again, you receive that same love in return. You’re worth it.

Jennifer has been the managing editor of Bolde since its launch in 2014. Before that, she was the founding editor of HelloGiggles and also worked as an entertainment writer for Bustle and Digital Spy. Her work has been published in Bon Appetit, Decider, Vanity Fair, The New York TImes, and many more.