12 Signs Of Immaturity That Might Surprise You

12 Signs Of Immaturity That Might Surprise You

There are plenty of obvious signs of immaturity we’re all aware of — making tasteless jokes, not holding down a job, being afraid of commitment, yada yada — but there are other, more subtle behaviors that prove someone just isn’t ready to be a grown adult. Here are some behaviors that are pretty problematic. Are you guilty of any of these?

1. Avoiding serious conversations

angry couple sitting on couch

provided by iStock

Shying away from serious talks is a pretty big immaturity red flag. Sure, it’s easier to discuss the latest TV shows or meme trends, but ducking out when things get real? That’s not cool. Mature people understand that life isn’t all fun and games. Sometimes, you need to have those tough discussions about feelings, plans, or even finances. If you or someone you know always changes the subject when things get a bit too real, it’s a sign of immaturity. Facing life’s less-than-fun aspects head-on is part of growing up.

2. Laughing off or ignoring constructive criticism

Sad young man talking with his father - Buenos Aires - Argentina

provided by iStock

Here’s the thing: if you can’t take constructive criticism, you have to grow up. It might sting a little when someone points out where you can improve, but laughing it off or ignoring it? Not the best move. Mature folks understand that feedback is a chance to grow. Sure, nobody’s perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes. But it’s also important to listen, learn, and do better next time. Brushing off criticism like it’s just a joke shows a lack of willingness to evolve and improve.

3. Blaming everyone else for your problems

unhappy family

provided by iStock

Pointing fingers and playing the blame game is a classic immature behavior. It’s easy to say it’s everyone else’s fault when things go south. But here’s a reality check: sometimes, you’re the one who messed up. Mature people understand that taking responsibility for your actions is key. It’s about owning up to your mistakes, learning from them, and moving forward. Constantly blaming others is like refusing to grow up. It’s time to step up, accept that you’re not always the victim, and start taking charge of your life.

4. Bailing on commitments

guy looking stressed in kitchen

provided by iStock

Ever make plans and then flake out at the last minute? Yeah, doing that regularly is a sign of immaturity. Mature adults know that their word means something. If you commit to something, whether it’s a job, a date, or just hanging out with friends, sticking to it is important. Constantly bailing on commitments shows a lack of respect for others’ time and effort. It’s about being reliable and responsible. Sure, life happens, and sometimes you have to cancel, but making a habit of it? Not so cool.

5. Having a short fuse

Girl sitting on the street with sunset backgroundGirl sitting on the street with sunset background

provided by iStock

Losing your cool over the tiniest inconveniences? Yeah, that’s not just a quirky trait; it’s a sign of immaturity. Mature people have learned to roll with the punches and not sweat the small stuff. Sure, everyone gets annoyed now and then, but if you’re constantly flipping out over minor things, it’s time to check that temper. It’s about learning to take a breath and approach situations calmly. Blowing up every time something doesn’t go your way just creates unnecessary drama and stress for everyone around.

6. Relying on other people to solve your problems

stressed couple figuring out bills in kitchen

provided by iStock

Constantly leaning on others to fix your mess? That’s not being resourceful; it’s being immature. It’s one thing to ask for help when you really need it, but expecting others to always bail you out? That’s a different story. Mature people understand the importance of being self-reliant. They tackle their problems head-on and learn from the experience. It’s about taking charge of your life and not relying on someone else to always clean up your messes. Plus, there’s a real sense of achievement in solving your own problems.

7. Oversharing on social media

Young friends watching mobile device screen in a cafe

provided by iStock

Think before you post. Oversharing every detail of your life on social media can be a sign of immaturity. Mature adults understand that some things are best kept private. It’s cool to share life updates or fun moments, but broadcasting every little thought or drama? That’s a bit much. It’s about finding a balance and understanding that not everything needs a digital audience. Keeping some aspects of your life to yourself is not just mature; it’s also wise.

8. Not being able to handle disagreements

Portrait of tired young woman sadness looking at camera sitting on bed on background of aggressive husband shouting on girlfriend at home. Concept of family scandal, crisis, domestic violence, abuse.

provided by iStock

Getting into a shouting match every time you disagree with someone? That’s a clear sign of immaturity. Mature people understand that you can have a disagreement without turning it into a full-blown fight. It’s about communicating your points calmly and listening to the other side. It’s okay to have different opinions, but how you handle those differences says a lot about your maturity level. It’s about respect, understanding, and finding common ground, even if you don’t see eye to eye on everything.

9. Constantly needing to be the center of attention

three friends walking with bikes outside

provided by iStock

Always needing to be in the spotlight? That can be an immaturity flag. Mature people are comfortable sharing the stage. They don’t need constant validation or attention to feel good about themselves. They’re secure enough to let others shine too. It’s about being confident in who you are without needing everyone’s eyes on you all the time. Plus, giving others a chance to be in the limelight can be incredibly rewarding.

10. Putting people down to feel good about yourself

two women gossiping over cocktails

provided by iStock

If you’re making fun of others to lift yourself up, that’s a textbook sign of immaturity. Mature people don’t need to put others down to feel better about themselves. They’re confident enough in who they are without having to belittle others. It’s about being kind and lifting others up, not using them as a step stool for your ego. Remember, true confidence comes from within, not at the expense of others.

11. Avoiding apologies like the plague

Angry Caucasian man and senior dad sit separate on couch ignore avoid talking after quarrel fight. Mad stubborn mature father and adult grown son have family misunderstanding. Generation gap concept.

provided by iStock

Not being able to say “I’m sorry” when you’re wrong is a big no-no. Mature people know that apologizing doesn’t make them weak; it shows strength and character. Owning up to your mistakes and making amends is crucial in life. It’s about being honest, humble, and respectful. Everyone messes up sometimes, but it’s how you handle those mistakes that counts.

12. Thinking the rules don’t apply to you

provided by iStock

Believing you’re above the rules and can do whatever you want? That’s not being a rebel; it’s being immature. Mature people understand that rules and boundaries are there for a reason. They respect them and understand their importance in society. It’s about being responsible and recognizing that your actions have consequences. Plus, respecting rules and boundaries is a key part of living in a community and getting along with others.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.