You’re not a machine, you’re a human being. No matter how much of an overachiever you are or how motivated you are to recognize your potential in life, you still need downtime to decompress, re-energize, and generally give your mind and body it requires to keep functioning at its peak. You might know that logically, but how good are you at putting it into practice? Here are some signs you suck at relaxing — take it from someone who knows.
1. You can’t remember the last time you had a day off.
Be honest with yourself. When was the last time you truly had a day in which you had nothing to do — no work, no commitments, no major plans other than vegging out at home catching up on TV and eating junk food? If there’s not a single case in recent memory, that’s probably because you suck at relaxing. You’re so used to being busy all the time that you don’t realize that you’re never not busy. It’s a really exhausting cycle that you usually don’t realize you’re caught in until it’s too late.
2. When you do have downtime, you feel antsy and unproductive.
I feel this one hard. On the rare occasion that I’ve finished all the work I need to do, I don’t have any appointments, errands, chores, or plans, I’m kinda like, “What now?” I complain constantly about how I just need time to chill out and do nothing, and then when it happens, I have no idea what to do with myself. I start to feel like I should be doing something, crossing things off of my never-ending to-do list. If you couldn’t tell, I suck at relaxing — if you relate to this, you clearly do too.
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4. One of your biggest fears is being seen as lazy.
Okay, not to use the internet as my personal therapist, but this is a biggie for me. I came from a home in which I had a parent who never wanted to work and didn’t accomplish much as a result. That, of course, has left me with a bit of a complex and I overcompensate by working too much. I never want anyone to view me as a lot of people viewed my mom. Of course, the truth is that you’re not “lazy” for enjoying a bit of downtime, especially since there’s so much more to life than your job and “busy-ness.” It’s a hard truth to internalize, though!
5. You overwork yourself until you eventually have a meltdown.
You know you suck at relaxing when you insist you’re fine being on the go nonstop… until suddenly you’re not and you have a complete and utter meltdown because you’re suffering from burnout. That’s the thing about burnout — it sneaks up on you and then absolutely floors you out of nowhere. This is why it’s so important to make sure you’re taking time for yourself regularly. If you don’t, the consequences can be pretty catastrophic.
6. When people ask you what you’re up to at night/over the weekend, “not much” is never the answer.
Obviously, when you work full-time during the week, you want to utilize your weekend to the fullest and have a bit of fun. However, sometimes the most fun you could have involves sleeping in (even if, like me, that means scrolling through social media on your phone from when you wake up at 6 a.m. until you get out of bed “late” at 8 a.m.), bumbling around the house, maybe going for a walk, and going whatever way the wind takes you. Not having plans isn’t admitting failure. It’s actually a good and necessary thing sometimes.
7. Your default walking speed is a million miles an hour.
I get it — we’ve all got places to go, people to see, things to do. I’m also a New Yorker, so combined with my high-functioning anxiety and the fact that I suck at relaxing, that means I’m basically moving at a slow jog page pretty much 24/7. Sometimes going for a walk just for the sake of getting some fresh air means meandering around like a tourist from the Midwest in the big city for the first time. There’s a joy and beauty in that when you actually let it happen.
8. Same goes for how quickly you speak.
If anyone’s ever told you that you speak way too fast for them to keep up with, this is a big sign that your brain is in overdrive. You have so many ideas running through your head nonstop and you’re worried you might not get them all out if you don’t just talk and talk and talk at breakneck speed. Take a deep breath. Slow down. Relax. (LOL, as if!)
9. You don’t need to set an alarm because you’d wake up before it went off anyway.
You have to get up at 6:30 a.m. tomorrow, so you set an alarm on your iPhone… not that you need it. Your eyes pop open at 4 a.m, 4:30 a.m., and every half an hour until it’s actually time to get up because you’re that highly strung. You likely tend to have (unfounded) anxiety about being late/missing out on things, which means your body and mind are super tense to the point that you can’t even trust technology.
10. You’re always in a heightened state of awareness (and probably anxiety).
Hands up if this is you! It also happens to be the biggest sign that you suck at relaxing. No matter what’s going on — even when things are going perfectly and life is good — you just can’t shake the feeling that something might pop up and you need to be prepared for it. You also probably know just as well as I do that that’s no way to live. If only there was a way to shut your brain off…
