It’s normal to compare yourself to other people, especially if they have something you want and you’re a long way off from achieving it for yourself. But, if you’re comparing yourself to others to the point where it’s trashing your self-esteem and making you a bad person to be around, you’re allowing comparisonitis to wreck your life. Here are some signs you need to focus more on your own life rather than what everyone else is doing.
1. You hate your job when you learn your friend makes more money.
You were happy in your job, but now that you’ve learned that your friend’s paycheck is a bit fatter than yours or they’re in a better position than you are, your perception has totally changed. Now, instead of feeling positive, you feel like you’re wasting your life in your career. You’re allowing yourself to be swayed by other people’s lives, and for what?
2. You mimic what everyone else is doing.
You like to stay up-to-date on what other people are doing. You follow people on Instagram who are more popular, attractive, or successful than you, and then you try to mimic what they’re doing. However, by doing this, you’re losing your own unique identity and what makes you special.
3. You never feel good about yourself on social media.
Whenever you post a story or reel on social media, you feel like you pale in comparison to everyone else on there. This is because you’re always scrolling through people’s “perfect” lives and believing the hype that they’re better than you. Try to reduce your time on these platforms — they’re killing your confidence.
4. You feel pressure to look happy online.
While you know that comparing your life to the influencers, celebs, and even acquaintances and friends you follow on social media just makes you feel like crap, you still strive to one-up everyone as much as possible. So, you’ll take happy-go-lucky selfies on the beach or in other amazing locations to try to make people feel jealous.
5. You compete with your friends.
There’s always a hidden competition going on between you and your friends. You’ll mentally keep track of who’s doing what and how your life is going compared to theirs. If you’re honest, it’s incredibly exhausting but you feel powerless to stop yourself. Your friendships are supposed to be your sanctuary, not another source of anxiety.
6. You stress about societal milestones.
©iStock/PeopleImages
You once heard you have to be married by the age of 30, so you’re pushing yourself to reach that milestone instead of following your own path in life. You’re swayed by societal rules, and this feeling is intensified if your friends seem to be meeting those milestones before you. It’s not a race, but it sure feels like one.
7. You tweak yourself when criticized.
You loved your purple hair… until your friend commented that it was clownish. Now you want to change it so you can fit in and look better. Why are you always following other people’s rules? As long as you’re being authentically yourself and you’re happy with your life, why does anyone else’s opinions matter?
8. You think people have something you don’t.
When you hear about people’s success stories, you allow them to make you doubt yourself. You fear that they’ve got something special or unique that you lack, and it’s running your self-worth into the ground. Focus on what your positive traits are and flaunt them. No one is you, and that’s your power.
9. You always doubt your decisions.
Whenever you make decisions in life, you always second-guess yourself. You’re filled with anxiety because you’re afraid of making a mistake that makes others judge you — or mistakes that make you feel like you’re falling short. The danger is that you’re making decisions based on what you think you should be doing, not what you really want.
10. Â You never feel happy or good enough.
You’re in an amazing relationship or you got a new job and it’s a dream. Meanwhile, you’re still not happy. Chronic comparing is making you feel like there’s a hole in your soul that you can’t ever fill no matter how much you try. Your thoughts are what is messing with you, so try to replace comparisons with gratitude.
11. You feel good when you hear about people’s failures.
In the same way that you feel negative when someone succeeds at something you’re still striving for, you’ll feel a burst of optimism when you hear about other people’s mistakes. Remember this: you don’t get more sun by throwing shade. Their failures don’t increase your success.
12. You’re quick to judge others.
©iStock/fotolaki
Living in a state of constant comparison means that you’re quick to judge others. You want to come out on top, so you’ll try to find their faults and flaws. This makes you a toxic person to be around and can push away the people you love.
13. You’re a helpful friend when people fall down.
Interestingly, you might be a fantastic friend when things go wrong for your loved ones. They want to be around you because when their days are dark, you’re the sun trying to warm them up. But, you might be running to their aid because you feel good when your life is “better” than theirs. (Jealousy, much?)
14. You disappear when your friends pop the champagne.
While you might support your friends when they’re going through a tough time, you disappear when they celebrate their achievements. You don’t support them because you’re too busy feeling like you’re not as good as they are. It’s sad that you’re allowing your chronic comparisons to make you miss out on being a good friend.
15. You downplay your success.
It’s not just your friends’ success that you avoid, but your own as well. Although you want to come out on top, you never feel like you’re good enough. There’s always someone better and this is stressing you out, so you downplay your successes and keep pushing to try to be better.
16. You’re pushing yourself too hard.
You want to be the best at everything. That’s a lot of pressure, especially because you can’t ever be perfect. However, knowing this doesn’t stop you. You’re taking on so much, but who are you racing against? Realize that the only person you’re in a competition with is yourself.
17. You’re hiding your real feelings.
If you constantly compare yourself to others, you might sometimes have to wear a mask to hide your real feelings. You might fear being judged for feeling sad or experiencing rejection, which means you’re distancing yourself from others. The sad truth? You’re pushing people away because you’d rather “win” than be real.
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
