Signs You’re The Bitter, Man-Hating Friend In Your Friend Group

Protecting yourself against men’s BS is a good thing and a little jadedness can even guard your heart, but are you becoming a little too bitter? A little too much of a man-hater? There’s one in every social circle and if you don’t know who yours is, it might just be you. Does this sound like you?

  1. Love makes you sick. Your friend tells you how excited she is about her new boyfriend and you make barfing sounds or roll your eyes. You know how this is going to pan out: she’s going to give her heart and it’ll get smashed, then you’ll have to mop up the pieces. Poor thing.
  2. You generalize about men. Notice how often you make sweeping statements about men. On a night out, turn it into a fun game: every time you generalize about guys, you need to drink a shot. Examples of statements include “all men are players” or “all guys are just after one thing.” Drunk yet?
  3. You slam a nice guy’s efforts. When a guy approaches you and your girlfriends at the club and tries to make conversation, you’re the friend who gives him a hard time. You love putting him on the spot, arguing with him or matching all his charming comments with snarky ones. Ha, that’ll teach him for coming over and acting all sweet and stuff…
  4. Your go-to dating advice is GTFO. No matter what your friends tell you about their relationship problems, you’re most likely to tell them to dump the loser and move on. You don’t really think of relationships as being something to fight for because they just end up in Splitsville sooner or later. As a sidebar, you’re surprised why lately your girlfriends haven’t really been confiding in you much about their love lives. Hmm.
  5. You can’t let go of the past. You hate all your exes and can’t seem to forget all the ways in which they hurt you. When you meet a new guy, you expect him to be bad just like all the others. It’s good to remember the hurts you’ve lived through to prevent them in future, but all that baggage is heavy and can put your back out, so put it down.
  6. You claim to be single and happy, but… When your friend tells you about the awesome guy she’d love for you to meet, you tell her just how happy you are being single. Only instead of sounding happy, it sounds like you’re angry. For instance, you might say that you know how the date will turn out and you’d rather not waste time that could be spent with your dog instead. Or you’ll say you have so much better stuff going on, even though your friend knows that you’ll be moping around the apartment or watching documentaries about women who kill.
  7. You see flaws before people. You say that you’re a fussy person with high standards when you diss yet another guy for not being perfect, but you could just be blinded by your own negativity. It’s good to want a certain type of guy and not to settle for less, but not every guy can have a fatal flaw or be out to get you. No, really.
  8. You get a thrill from being right. When you told your friend that her boyfriend was a loser and then months later she dumped him for that reason, you can’t help but scream out, “I told you so!” It’s like all those stories of relationships that tank really just confirm: men are bastards and you have every right to be heavily on guard. Or, in layman’s terms, cynical AF.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.