Everyone wants to be liked by others, but that doesn’t mean you have to jump through hoops to try to earn people’s love or go the extra mile (and then an extra one for good measure) to prove that you’re worthy of being around. It’s way too much energy and you can be accepted simply for who you are right now. But how? It takes less effort than you think.
1. Start really listening to people.
One of the best ways to show people you’re a nice person is to listen to them — and we mean really listen. Lean towards them when they’re speaking, nod at appropriate times in their story, make eye contact, and rephrase what they’re saying back to them. They’ll love chatting to you.
2. Don’t bond with your phone.
When spending time with someone, avoid looking at your phone. It sends the message you’re rude and are trying to distract yourself from them. Not cool. Focus on the person you’re chatting to and give them your undivided attention. Your social media feeds can wait.
3. Dish out some compliments.
Giving people a few meaningful compliments will make them see you in a positive light, but the key is to make them meaningful! Don’t just give them random, general compliments, like, “You look cool/nice.” Focus on specifics, such as, “I love your necklace – it really brings out your eyes” or “Your dress is beautiful – you’ve got great style.”
4. Be thoughtful.
Everyone wants to feel seen and heard. Pay attention to others and what they need. For example, if someone you don’t know at your party is searching for a phone charger, ask them if you can help. Or, if you can see your acquaintance is stressed out, ask them how they’re doing. These are simple ways to reach out and show you care.
5. Ask them about their interests.
Find out about the person’s interests by asking about their passions and hobbies. This is a great way to engage during conversation while giving you opportunities to have something to talk about in the future. If someone says they’re into horse riding or dancing, ask them about it when you see them again, or send them an interesting meme or news story on the topic they like.
6. Wear a warm smile.
Smiling instantly makes you seem approachable and confident, but just make sure it’s genuine. Avoid putting on a fake smile that looks tense. If you can’t smile, such as because you’re feeling insecure, try to relax your facial muscles and think of something that makes you happy. It’ll help you keep a genuine smile on your face.
7. Spread positivity.
Although it can be fun to bond with someone over something negative, like expressing mutual disdain for a tabloid star, it’s more powerful to focus on being positive. This will draw people to you much more. Share a positive, feel-good story, or crack some jokes to make everyone laugh.
8. Sit with approachable body language.
Your body language tells the world so much about yourself, like if you’re keen to chat or not. Make sure your body language is open, meaning that you’re placing your arms at your side instead of crossing your chest, which makes you seem blocked off to everyone around you.
9. Let people speak more than you.
To be seen as likeable, you might think you have to talk about what you like and entertain the other person. But, the opposite is true. You have to listen more than you speak. Let the other person take the stage – they’ll love having the chance to share about their lives.
10. Ask questions more than sharing about yourself.
Showing interest in others is what gets you liked. To master it, follow this rule: if you share something about yourself, ask the other person a question about themselves. So, if you say, “I love going for long walks” chase it with a question like, “What do you like to do on weekends?” This will prevent you from dominating the conversation.
11. Pick their brain for advice.
It’s flattering to be asked for advice. So, consider asking the person about something you’re struggling with. For example, if you heard them talking about their recent vacation to Turkey, ask them for their advice on the best place to stay. Or, if they spoke about their recent DIY cleaning hack, ask them to repeat it for you.
12. Try to mirror them a bit.
You want to feel in sync with the people you’re interacting with, and you can do this by mirroring their speech and body language. This can help you to feel connected to the other person, and they’ll see you in a positive light.
13. Remember people’s names.
This is a really simple yet effective way to make yourself more likeable. When someone introduces themselves, repeat their name back to them so you remember it. Then, use it later on, such as by saying, “I enjoyed chatting with you, Rob.” This helps to bolster a person connection and shows the other person you’re paying attention.
14. Boost your self-confidence.
Instead of trying to impress other people, focus on being yourself. What makes you special and unique? What are some of your good traits? Remember these to boost your confidence – that’s what you need to be appealing and interesting to others, so don’t dull your shine.
15. Celebrate their happiness.
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When someone shares their amazing experience during their recent travels or talks about delicious food they recently tried at the new Thai restaurant in town, listen and show interest. Don’t try to one-up them by sharing your similar experiences. That makes you come across as competitive, which is off-putting.
16. Be empathetic.
Likeable people are empathetic to others instead of self-obsessed. So, show the other person that you’re interested in what they think and feel. Don’t brush off their feelings or roll your eyes at their opinions – that’s so rude! Try to put yourself in their situation so you can connect with them and be remembered for the right reasons.
