Not everyone is blessed with supernatural charm and charisma — most of us have to work a bit harder to win people over when we meet them. That being said, it doesn’t have to be a slog. Building a good rapport and making people like you is actually pretty simple if you just follow a few rules of social etiquette. How many of these have you tried (and how many could you add into your conversational arsenal)?
1. As obnoxious as it is when someone tells you do to this, SMILE!
Ladies, I know it’s really annoying when someone tells you to smile, but this is a place where the advice is actually applicable. Starting off with a real smile immediately puts people at ease and guarantees you’re on the right path to win them over. It’s not about flashing a fake grin; it’s about showing that you’re actually glad to meet someone. It sets a chill vibe that you’re friendly, open, and happy to be there. Give it a try next time and see what a difference it makes.
2. Don’t close your physical self off.
Keeping your body language open is the very least you can do when you’re getting to know someone new. Avoid crossing your arms or turning away – that stuff can make you seem closed off. Instead, face them head-on and relax a bit. It’s about making the other person feel like they’ve got your full attention and that you’re at ease. Lean in a bit when they’re chatting, nod when they’re speaking, etc. You want to send the vibe that you’re feeling the conversation rather than willing it to end.
3. Leave your baggage at the door (Sweetn can help with that).
If you always find yourself getting into a negative headspace during conversations, leading you to complain or generally be a Debbie Downer, it’s going to be very hard to build a good rapport with the person you’re talking to. No matter what you’ve been through in the past, being open and optimistic is super important when you’re just meeting someone. If you struggle with this, our sister site, Sweetn, can help you out. They use science and the power of your very own mind to help you overcome toxic patterns and limiting beliefs for a much happier (love) life. Check them out here.
4. Be genuinely interested in the person you’re talking to.
When you’re really into what someone’s saying, it’s pretty obvious – and it makes the other person feel great. Ask them questions about what they like, what they think, or what they’ve been doing. It’s about diving deeper than just small talk and showing that you’re keen to know more about them. This gives you a chance to turn a casual chat into something more meaningful that might create a bond between you. You never know what you might discover if you make the effort to dive in.
5. Make your compliments specific rather than generic.
Dishing out a well-placed, sincere compliment can work wonders. People who succeed with this don’t just say “Nice shirt”; they go for “That color really suits you.” Specific compliments show that you’re paying attention and appreciate something particular about the person rather than just trying to find something “nice” to say because you think you should. Making people feel like a million bucks will win them over easily. Who doesn’t love an ego boost?
6. Zip those lips and listen up.
Being a good listener is like having a superpower in conversations. It’s all about focusing on what the other person is saying instead of just waiting for your turn to speak. Don’t interrupt them, talk over them, or start looking all over the place waiting for them to shut up. By listening more, you create a space where the other person feels heard and valued. It sounds very woo-woo, but it’s true. Most people literally just want someone to hear them out — that’s all it takes to make them like you.
7. Drop the aloof act and show some enthusiasm.
There’s something contagious about genuine enthusiasm, probably because it’s so rare these days. When someone shows they’re excited or passionate about something, it’s like their energy lifts the mood. They’re not over-the-top; they just aren’t afraid to show that they’re stoked about something. Do more of this to win people over! It makes conversations lively and interesting, and it shows that you’re not just going through the motions – you’re actually excited to be part of the conversation. Pretending you don’t care about anything is pretty corny and very passe. You’re better than that.
8. Keep your phone out of sight.
Yes, everyone is glued to their devices, but that’s not a good thing — especially in social settings. Keeping your phone tucked away during a conversation is basically an act of revolution these days, and it’s really refreshing. It’s a sign that you’re fully present and that you value this face-to-face time more than whatever’s happening on your screen, which is an easy way to win people over. Human interaction sometimes feels like it’s becoming a thing of the past thanks to our reliance on technology, so keeping it analog when you’re chatting with someone face-to-face is a game-changer.
9. Share some stuff about yourself.
Opening up a bit about yourself can really help in making a connection. People who are good at this know how to share just enough to be relatable without turning the conversation into a monologue. It might be a fun fact, a hobby, or a recent experience that’s easy to talk about. This sharing makes the conversation a two-way street. It shows that you’re not only interested in getting to know the other person but that you’re not a closed book yourself. As a result, they might find it a lot easier to let down their guard.
10. Be funny (but be appropriate).
Who doesn’t love hanging out with people who make them laugh? Having a great sense of humor is an amazing way to win people over quickly. A well-timed, appropriate joke or a light-hearted comment can instantly make a conversation a lot more enjoyable because it breaks the ice and puts people at ease. Obviously, this isn’t a platform for you to try out your stand-up comedy routine — it’s just about throwing a little levity in there to bring a smile to people’s faces. The key here is keeping the humor friendly and inclusive, nothing that could be offensive or too personal. It shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously and are fun to be around.
11. Match the other person’s energy.
If you want to win people over quickly, start by focusing on making sure they’re comfortable. Doing this is pretty easy — just mirror their behavior. If they’re speaking softly and calmly, you do the same. If they’re enthusiastic and energetic, you bring your energy up a notch too. You want to meet them where they’re at (so long as they’re not somewhere totally crazy). This doesn’t mean being fake; it’s more about being adaptable and creating a rapport. It shows that you’re tuned in to the dynamics of the interaction and are responsive to the other person’s communication style.
12. Avoid the controversial stuff early on.
Steering clear of potentially divisive subjects like politics or religion during a first meeting is usually a good idea. These topics can quickly go from friendly to downright heated and uncomfortable in no time. That’s not to say that these topics aren’t important, just that they don’t need to be discussed within minutes of being introduced. Instead, try to focus on finding common ground. It’s so much better to focus on where your paths diverge rather than where the merge. (Of course, if they’re outright racist, sexist, homophobic, etc., you probably do want to find that out sooner rather than later.)
13. Remember and use people’s names.
You’re not a celebrity — the likelihood of you meeting so many new people on a daily basis that you can’t remember anyone’s name is kinda far-fetched. You may not be “good with names,” but it doesn’t take much effort to commit someone’s to memory so that you can use it when you’re talking to them. This makes them feel like you actually care about the conversations you have and that they hold even a vague significance in your life. It’s also a really easy way to win people over. It’s a big payoff for a pretty minor effort.
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