An Australian mom has admitted to removing her daughter from daycare because staff members hugged the little girl to comfort her when she was upset. Sophea Manzl insists that her daughter has “never liked being touched” but that the teacher ignored the “no touching” rule by offering physical comfort.
- Sophea’s daughter doesn’t mind hugging her parents, but even that isn’t common. “Even as a baby she wasn’t very cuddly with anyone,” she explained. “Of course, she gives her mummy and daddy cuddles… even then she wasn’t the type of kid that you could cuddle to sleep or snuggle on the couch with.”
- The 3-year-old is apparently very vocal about her dislike of people touching her. Sophea says that her daughter often tells her parents that she only wants hugs from them and no one else, and that she “especially despises” hugs from strangers.
- Sophea told the daycare workers about her daughter’s preferences. In a piece she wrote for Kidspot, Sophea says she talked to staff before her daughter started at the daycare and told them that “they should never try to hold her or cuddle her to help her calm down” as she doesn’t like it. She revealed that her son loves physical affection but that her daughter doesn’t and she wanted to respect her wishes.
- The proactive mom even gave staff other ways to help her daughter. She says the “list of tools” included giving the child her favorite toy, giving her a book to read, or even finding a “quiet space in the corner by herself” in which she could self-soothe. They also advised staff to give her daughter space so she could come to them in her own time.
- Sophea was “disgusted” to discover that staff didn’t listen. “I’ll never forget looking through the window out to the outside area where all the kids play, and seeing the teacher picking my daughter up and trying to hug her,” she wrote. “My daughter was absolutely beside herself.” For that reason, she knew she needed to pull her daughter from the daycare.
- She tried to take it in her stride at first. While witnessing her daughter in such a distressed state was hard, Sophea tried to give staff the benefit of the doubt at first. So, she chatted with the manager and told them they should never repeat that behavior again. Sadly, they didn’t listen and “kept offering” the little girl hugs, which left her extremely distressed.
- Her daughter eventually fessed up to hating it at the daycare. Sophea said that her little one told her directly that she didn’t like the teachers because they were always trying to hug her. “It hit me like a tonne of bricks. She didn’t feel safe. She was terrified to go and was having terrible anxiety every single time we went. My heart broke. And so, I took her out of daycare,” she revealed, adding that her daughter is much happier in her new daycare.
- Sophea is just glad her daughter finally feels safe. “She is a whole new child and is enjoying her days, making friends, and there are absolutely no tears at drop off,” she wrote, adding that parents should “go with your gut” when it comes to ensuring their kids are happy and looked after.
